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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: How long do people chat online before they actually meet each other? I'm new to this online dating thing. A guy contacted me on a dating website and we've had a good correspondence going for about 2 weeks now. After the 2nd exchange with him I had told him I would love to meet him, but that I couldn't that weekend as my grandmother had died the day previously and I would have to leave town for the funeral. Then,there was a hurricane, but again I asked if he'd like to get a drink when things were a little less crazy. A few days later he told me he'd like to meet, but was just too busy at work the following week which I understood as I've had those sorts of weeks myself. Now he's written a friendly email again on a Friday afternoon post-work, but hasn't mentioned anything about meeting up this weekend. Is this strange?Our correspondence is good and he's very attentive on line. He lives close by.I'm just starting to wonder if he's not interested in meeting at all. I'm also wondering if I started off on the wrong foot, by saying I wanted to meet but couldn't. After this last message, I'm wondering if I should just let this correspondence drop. Am I being impatient or am I just not reading between the lines?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your help.Thanks in particular Anon... I decided I would let him bring it up next time. I guess I'm just being impatient.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2011): I wouldn't read anything negative into his last correspondence. He has been busy and knowing things have been hectic on your end he is probably, prudently and tactfully, avoiding the topic until things have settled down for both of you. To keep talking about it puts pressure on both. Either one of you will feel badly if you have to keep declining invitations because of scheduling conflicts and it leaves the one wondering if the other has lost interest. You should talk on the phone before meeting anyway, even if only briefly.When you are ready to meet him (or anyone else) be sure to get his information ahead of time, arrange a safe call with a trusted friend and, of course, meet in a public place. This may go without saying, but since you're new to the online dating I'll err on the side of caution and say it anyway...if a relationship is what you're seeking, then do not engage in sex or anything too intimate until you're in one. It's harder to remain objective about someone you've been to bed with. An maintaining an air of mystery never hurts a woman's cause.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): Hey,I just want to say before you meet anyone you need to make sure you are safe!have you spoken to him on the phone? give him a call or get him to call you, it will enhance your friendship aswel as give you a chance to hear his voice and have a guesstimate of if he is older than what he looks or younger.Get him to make a skype or msn or facebook account, and get a webcam! its important you do this so you can see if you are actually talking to the same guy as that in the pictures or someone else, for all you know this guy may be putting on an act and is really a 60 year old peadophile.If he is who he says he is, looks how his pictures do and sounds his age and not old and croaky, go for it!maybe a month in to the online relationship is the right time to see him just so you know enough about him and you can indulge in a healthy conversation that wont be awkward or boring and you can tell if you genuinely have an interest or this fella.all the best x
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): You can spend so much time online chatting to someone - and yes that is a good place to start but I think you must meet up ASAP. A lot of time can be wasted chatting online as expectations and hopes are raised, and you may well get on - online but when you meet it is different. Trust me, I have had some experience with this now, having been on a few dates and I always instigate meeting up. You can tell when meeting face to face if there is any chemistry there too, that is so important! I would just be forward and suggest you meeting up for coffee - something non threatening - somewhere public. He is probably waiting for you to say something, just do it you haven't anything to lose!
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