A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:HiI have been dating this guy for 1.5 years. He has two kids from a previous marriage. We were trying and got recently pregnant. We were planning to move in together, and he even proposed. Unfortunately I miscarried at 9 weeks. We got into a small disagreement the day before we found out the baby wasn't viable and I was going to miscarry. Even though he knew I had a non-viable pregnancy and was going to miscarry (and eventually did), he never called / texted to see how I was doing. I got really upset and broke-up by email. He did meet with me shortly after the miscarrige and I told him I regretted breaking-up with him but didn't want to move in with him / marry him / have a child with him if he has such difficulty being emotionnally supportive in a difficult time such as my miscarriage. He was very distant, said he loves me but needed a break and didn't want to 'promise me anything'. (Getting back together or not). Since then I've emailed him that I agree we need a break but that I would eventually just like for us to be casual daters / lovers. I'm not wanting to move in with him and his family, even though I'd like to resolve our deeper issues I don't think we can without counselling and he was never open to counseling. So I would settle to just have the casual dating with him. I love him very much and would hate to lose him altogether, but I've been hurt badly to see how unsupportive / uncaring he seemed thru the miscarriage. Sure he already has two kids etc but still.I haven't heard from him in about a week. He asked for space and time and I'm giving it to him. But how long should I wait before just moving on? Or is it ok to reach out down the road? In another week, or two, or a month? I'm still crazy in love for him and I'm pretty sure he still loves me very much but we're both hurt. Advice, please :)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 March 2013):
 I am sorry for the loss of your baby.
YOU move on when you are ready.
I would not subject myself to being casual with him, it will hurt too much.
Personally I can't see why you would want pregnancy then move in then get married... seems to be backwards to me.
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