A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of over 3 years has been working immensely hard for the last year in setting up his own business.He has gone without a wage for over a year... does not qualify for social welfare even thiugh he earns zero money.we have moved back in with his parents to do this and now his business is quite successful. However the downside is that he has a business partner who doesn't do even half the amount of work. His partner wants to keep sinking their profits into the business and does not want them to take a wage. He told my boyfriend that he should live off me because I am earning.My boyfriend is exasperated and went as far as to call himself a failure with no independence and nothing to his name. He's normally so confident and positive. He can't talk to his business partner as he just will not listen to him and yet my boyfriend does all of the work and puts in 90 hours a week. We were supposed to save for a house this year together and maybe get engaged so I feel a little like this business partner thing affects me too. I wanted 2016 to be 'my year' as I have so fully supported my boyfriend in all of his endeavours up until now. I realise that's not going to happen and while I'm ok with it (it's not like my boyfriend is sitting around doing nothing, he doesn't even drink or smoke). I'm not sure how long it should be something I deal with? How long do I financially support my boyfriend (I just buy our food and pay for some bills). I feel selfish even thinking like this but there are things I want for my life too especially at my age. Maybe we both just need some independence and should move out to an apartment (then I will be paying for everything but at least we'll have some independence)Thanks all...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2016): Thanks for your replies. His business is one year old now. Of course I'm happy to support him. I tell him not to worry about the house and all that but these are things he also wants for himself. It's just that since he had this discussion with his partner ... he feels he has lost all direction. He just wants a small wage a tiny reward for all his work so that he feels like he is going in some direction. He involves me in everything so perhaps I'm just feeling the stress too...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2016): I would think his hard work alongside a supportive partner(you)is helping the business grow....takes time.Would you not think that he is already building for your future.Nothing about the business should really stop you still getting engaged??? even a small party can be done on a shoe string ( unless you have an extravagant ideas and taste).My brother works tirelessly in his business, and sometimes keeps his head just above water....he makes it, and his sheer determination to MAKE it work is amazing and inspiring. There are day's when he feels like a failure because he has not achieved the fancy car's that he would like because he has to sink it ALL into his business. I admire him and all the greatness he has achieved in his vision which is still growing.Pressure comes with business and to be stressing your partner too much about buying houses, when the time may not be right just yet is probably going to make him feel like he is 'failing you'. I am sorry to sound harsh but if you struggle helping to support him now, how will it be with a mortgage around your necks as well . Would you rather he give up the business altogether? What if the business had turned into an overnight success, you would have none of these concerns financially. Risk is always involved. Is your love for each other worth the risk? How new is his business
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 January 2016):
 You cannot save your B/F from himself, in the business environment.... Stand by him.... support him... but DON'T think that you should superimpose yourself in the the goings-on between him and his partner....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2016): OP here. I'd like to add that buying out the business partner of his 50% is not an option and the lease on the building is for another 4 years...
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