A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What's the longest amount of time you've 'seen' someone before you make it a proper relationship. I've been seeing this boy for about 4 months now but he doesn't want to take it further into a relationship yet. It's basically a relationship anyway as i see him everyday and we aren't allowed to be with other people. I'm getting so frustrated with it, i just don't understand the reasons for waiting any longer! In a months time if nothing has changed i may have to just end it just for the fact that it's really annoying! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): If you're already sleeping with him, then this is probably all the relationship he will ever want to give you.
A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (16 November 2009):
 you could say ive been seeing a very dear person of mine for the last nine months. if you want to move it on then tell him x
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 Without really knowing what you mean by “proper relationship”, I am going to generalize here and I hope you find it helpful.
There isn't really a set time limit, however if at this point he isn't prepared to commit, he never will be.
Because you have allowed this relationship to be exclusive without a commitment, you've given him the best of both worlds. What incentive is there to formalize your relationship? He has your commitment and doesn't the responsibilities of a boyfriend. Why would he now agree to more work?
If anything is going to change here, it will be you. You will need to (at some point) decide this is not good enough for you and you will be moving on from the relationship. It’s either that, or a never-ending status quo.
When you are ready to move on, he will either let you go or he will decide he doesn’t want to lose you and will commit. However, you have to be emotionally prepared that he will let you go and understand that it is what is best for you.
In the future, never give a man (or anyone – this applies to men as well) all the benefits of a relationship while expecting none of the perks for yourself.
Good luck, friend.
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