A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How is it possible to be so in love with two people??I always believed that you could only love one other person at once (as a partner) but Im in love with two. Its officially a HUGE problem.My ex dumped me a year and a half ago because we were long distance and he got depressed because he couldnt bear say goodbye again to me. I tried to get him back for the longest time knowing I have a visa to the country he lives in, so goodbye wouldnt be a problem anymore but he kept saying no.I moved on, I still loved him but slowly I fell in love with someone else. Ive been with this new person for almost a year, I live with them and love them dearly.However I still do talk to my ex over email and tonight I just talked to him for the first time on skype and HUGE mistake. Ive realised I still love him soooo much and I almost told him I loved him when the call ended and I cried when it did and we talked about things and I know he wanted to tell me he loved me too.Thing is though he confessed a few months back that he still loves me and thinks about me and was an ass basically for not taking me back through a drunken email so I knew he still wanted me but for me Ive never lost the love for him.My visa is now expired and I didnt go. Now all I can think is what if?Help me. What should I do. Im in love with two amazing guys, one I live with and one is half way accross the world but I cant help think about him all the time and Im currently crying over it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2012): I myself do not believe you can be in love with two different people. It is possible to believe you are, but I think in these cases you may not love any of them half as much as you think you do.
A
female
reader, butterfly120  +, writes (14 July 2012):
I personally don't think that you can truly love two people at the same time. Meaning as far as a relationship situation goes. I believe that you are in love with the guy that you are living with and the ex-boyfriend is just a infatuation, somewhat of a fantasy. You are thinking about what if, life in another country etc. You also may be somewhat living in the past by thinking of all the good times you had with him. You may not like what I have to say but you shouldn't have been in touch with him at all period. First of all your not being fair to the current guy and second it is soooo easy to fill in the blanks when you are texting/emailing/or talking on skype. You don't even know how life would be with this guy. You are seeing all the good in this guy and what he is wanting to tell you, with your current boyfriend you are seeing the bad and the good. I would end all ties with the ex
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 It's possible to be in love with two people, yeah. That's why it's dangerous to play with fire if you're already in a relationship. There's a thin line which shouldn't be crossed, because it's not like once you love someone your heart is set on them alone... Your heart can room more than one person at a time.
In your case though you aren't "in love" with two men, you sound like you actually love two men. By "in love" I think more of infatuation. Your feelings go deeper than that it looks like.
Having feelings for an ex isn't unusual, unheard of, or wrong in any way. You loved him, you might still love him, but you broke up for whatever reason. Remember that reason. Unless you broke up because you stopped loving each other then it takes TIME for the feelings of love to fade away. It can take several years of no contact and distancing yourself before they are finally out of your heart. It took me 5 years to get over my ex fiancee. I would still cry over him while I was in a new relationship, every now and then. I never wanted to get back with him, we broke up for good reasons. But I thought I was going to be with him the rest of my life, and those feelings were buried deep in me.
Give yourself more time. Ok, so you love him still. But that doesn't change much. You broke up, you had good reasons to break up. He is still long distance, and you love someone else now too.
It's ok. Try not to let your new boyfriend see though. Because it'll make him question whether you love him or not, and it can make him feel insecure. There is no need to put him through this, because your feelings for him haven't changed just because you realized you still love your ex. You've loved your ex all the time you were with this new guy too, and still you managed to love the new guy.
It's okay, and it will pass in time. Love does fade away when you don't nourish it. But it takes time, especially the first time you need to let someone you love go. Like I said, I used 5 years on my first real break-up (the ex fiancee). But the next guy I used "just" between 6 months to a year. And the next after that I was done with after 4 months (but he was an arse who I truly disliked at the end of the relationship, so it was quicker to get over him with all the crap he pulled on me). It's more difficult to get over someone when they were actually nice to you and loving, but other things stood in your way (such as the long distance). But give yourself time. Stay with your boyfriend. He can give you what your ex couldn't.
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