A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I just want to know is it possible to be confused on if you love someone or not for almost a full year? The man I am with has been unsure about how he feels for a while. This does not make me want to leave him, but it sure makes it hard for me when I have developed love for him. I feel he is worth waiting for and I know that I feel special with him no matter what. The one thing he has told me which lets me know that some where in side he knows there is something there is he said he has a deep urge to stay with me. He has never felt like truly leaving me even though he is confused about love he does know he does not want to let me go. So I say its something but I just figure he may be one of those men who is just having a really hard time expressing how he feels. Anyone have any tips or things that may help...? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (1 November 2011):
 I agree with So_Very_Confused. He is probably taking his time. If you also say he had abit of a rough upbringing and has ovbiously had some real tough times back in his past it will be harder for him to give you 100% of his trust and love if other people may of abused it in the past.
But from your short description he sounds loving enough so he's probably just moving forward slowly.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2011):
 yep it sounds like he's just moving slow and has to learn how to express himself.
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A
female
reader, Lovemeright11 +, writes (1 November 2011):
Lovemeright11 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Yes we see each other every weekend he has declared saturday as our day to spend together and will let no one else get in the way of it. He is always there for me when i need him and he lets me talk about anything i want and never feels angry about something i say he is happy to hear me share what is on my mind and he is still trying to get the hang of opening up with me the same way. His upbringing was rought and he has had many suicidal problems threw out his life, so it's understand able if he is really having a hard time understanding love since I am sure I am the first possiative g/f in his life and I try to treat him like he matters as much as I can.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 November 2011):
Depends on the person. For me I usually know within a few months of spending serious time togther if I am in love with someone.
AngelD asks good questions.
are you local
are you exclusive
how often do you see each other have contact?
are you both on the same page with respect to where the relationship is headed?
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (1 November 2011):
Some people just aren't as compatable with love as others. Sometimes you see people who will go out with eachother and within one week they will be all over eachother and declare their undieing love for eachother in the middle of town. And then you meet other couples who may of been together for years but act more like close friends than partners.
I guess it is really all to do with personal mental growth as some people find it so hard to love someone.
If you are his first proper gf then he might be confused as to "what love feels like" as it is a common qeustion on here.
Many people have never expeirenced true love so they have no idea what it feels like and get so confused to if they are or aren't in love.
You ovbiously need to work on your relationship with him and try and show him who you truely are and how you love him more than anyone, once you do this he might then see how great you really are and finally feel like he loves you 100%.
Ovbiously it won't happen overnight, and i wouldn't worry to much as i have noticed couples can have phases, they can have phases where they can't leave eachother alone and then other times where they just want to get away from each other and then they will be all in love again.
So i really guess it just comes with time, so i wouldn't worry try and show your romanatic side and show him why he got with you in the first place.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (1 November 2011):
 love is a confusing thing for those that really think about it. the easiest thing in the world would be for him to say 'yes, of course i love you' just to make you feel better and relieve your concerns. he wants to be 100% per cent sure before he says those words, but when he does - you will know that he means them!
what is your relationship like? is it exclusive? is it a long distance or even online one? how often does he see you? does he put you before his friends or do you often feel like a back up plan? is he respectful to you? thoughtful? does he pay you plenty of attention or does he make you feel like you are having to chase him?
look at his behaviour towards you, this will tell you more than the three little words he is holding back. 'i love you' is not the be all and end all, plenty of people say it,even though they treat their partner like crap and cheat on them etc.
also what was his upbringing like and his relationship with his parents? did they show him love and how to express it?
x
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