A
female
age
36-40,
*llieC.88
writes:So i just have a basic question. I understand and am all for honesty in relationships, and believe honesty is always the best policy. So if you love someone so much and you dont ever want to lose them, are their limits. And of course its not something you do at all. But if you had just ONE thing that happened where you know once that person finds out you will NEVER be with them ever, would you tell that special someone? How far can honesty go without losing someone you cherish? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): I can see everyones perspective. For safety reasons sometimes its a reason to keep your mouth close. Yes men and women react differently and I think a guy would most likely act unracitionally and physically. So it definitly depends on the person and knowing how they will react to the situation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): If you are so sure that it would be a deal-breaker then you owe it to him to tell him. Maybe it would break the deal but that's the point. If you don't tell him and you know perfectly well that he would have expected you to tell him, then you are keeping him by deception.
That's the point of honesty. He has to have all these good feelings for YOU, not just the made up person that you wish you were. Otherwise he is getting a lie for a GF and you are living one.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 This should really stick in my throat given that I'm a serial (and parallel) cheater and therefore by definition a liar but generally honesty is the way to go. You would be surprised at what people will accept if you tell them straight. You may think that if you tell them then they will never want to see you again but most people in most situations prefer a bad truth over lies.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 How many people can handle the truth?
Everyone is different and unique and you cannot say that what works for one will work for all. There is no blanket opinion about this issue.
Some are able to handle it well while some will handle it very badly. Each case will have to look at it from it's own merits.
Men and women react differently .Some are able to forgive, move on and their marriage became stronger while some will be devastated and never recovered from it.
Those who give advises, are they married and have they gone through that experience and felt those pressures ?
Even if you have cheated and have those experiences, it does not make you an expert because no two cases are the same.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 February 2010):
It depends on what that one thing is. From my point of view, if that one thing is something very serious, you need to tell that special person. Because if that one thing is serious and it's going to hurt that person, then perhaps they're not that special. For example, cheating. I know that if I had a girlfriend and she cheated, I would prefer for her to come clean than to lie. I think I could handle the truth from her more than a lie. It's becoming far easier to find things out as well. So it's better you're honest before someone else is. If someone does something that serious, it begs the question 'do you love that person as much as you think?'. My advice miss always to be honest. Don't build something on a lie, no matter hoe much you love that person. Because if it comes out (which it will at some point), it will bring more pain.
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