A
female
age
30-35,
*ca9130
writes:My current boyfriend and I have a very romantic and dramatic start. Now we have around one year and a half dating. It's my second longest relationship and i'm very proud and happy since i went through a lot of frogs back in the day. The problem is, i began this relationship very cool and maybe, distant? I was afraid that he might be another frog....but things went very well and eventually, my real personality, which is very lovable and romantic, started to shine. He reciproctaed this but i continue to be very much in love like i was over a year ago. He, nevertheless says that i'm "way too much in love" and though he says it as a joke, i already told him that it hurts me a lot because it makes me feel as if he doesn't love me as much as i do.I'm not afraid of breaking up with him,i have learned that i can be alone and be happy with my life, plus love always finds its way to come back in my life. Still, i dont want to loose him. This weekend we had a talk and i told him he should work on his trust issues because it doesnt let his heart open up to me as i deserve, as this relationship deserves. He says he doesn't trust anyone, that i'm not the problem.My question is: should i stay strong, fight for this relationship even though it will be hard or should i flee from his fear to commit and love? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 May 2014):
 When a man says "you are too much in love" you listen. He's saying that you care more than he does and probably always will.
Ciar is right.. enjoy yourself, have a good time, don't buy the dress yet... (i.e. live in the moment don't plan on a future with this guy)
if you can't do that... if you need to see a future with your partner then I think it's best to end it.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (28 May 2014):
 I don't think the words you're "way too much in love" should ever be muttered from someone's mouth when you've been together for a while. Of course it made you feel as if you love him more than he loves you. How else is that to be interpreted? It's blatant. And it's rude. I would take great offense to this, as well.
Also, if after a year and a half, he still says he doesn't trust you and is still so apparently guarded, then I see this as a lost cause. It just sounds as if he's not the right guy for you.
You sound like a good catch. Someone very loving and able to make someone very happy. So why waste more time on a guy who doesn't appreciate it?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2014): If a guy admits openly to you that you're way too much in-love, listen. He's not kidding!
That means your feelings are way too far ahead of his. You deserve to get back what you're giving. You can't tell a person how to feel. They have to give their love to you without hesitation; and of their own free-will. It's not necessarily about "trust-issues." He's not as into you, as you are into him. That doesn't mean he doesn't like you; but it may mean he is not in-love with you.
Pull-back a little, and tone-down the intensity of your feelings for this guy. You're getting ahead of yourself and he could break your heart; if he feels smothered.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (27 May 2014):
 Don't fight for it. You don't have to end it, unless you think it's in your best interests, but you should definitely pace yourself and scale back your investment. If he has trust issues then he should be the one to pursue you...forever.The 'too much in love' comment should be taken as a polite warning. He may be feeling a bit pressured and he wants you to ease up (but doesn't want to lose you). So heed itEnjoy yourself, have a good time, be affectionate, but keep part of yourself in reserve.
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