A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone!I have just started dating a guy who is awesome to me so far. I am 21, and he is 24. We met through mutal friends, and I made the "first move" (a simple goodnight kiss) on our second date. Just wondering how fast people around our ages usually go, when they're dating someone new? Both of us have been in long term relationships before, and are not virgins. (Ie. when does more intense kissing (more than a goodnight kiss), sexual acts, and eventually sex happen, after you guys are dating someone?) I just don't want to be the one to make a move too early, if it isn't appropriate for the time frame of the relationship! Any advice is appreciated! Thanks! :)
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 There's nothing innappropriate really. You go with the flow of things. But, I like to have a personal rule that says no sex before two weeks into an official relationship. That means committment first, then sex. Another good idea could be to wait until you are in love, but no less than two weeks anyway.
The personal two week rule of mine is just to prevent a relationship starting off with sex. Two weeks isn't a lot, but I've been fortunate enoough to end up with guys Im madly in love with already, and once they become my boyfriend I have a hard time keeping my hands off them. Two weeks is as long as my patience reaches.
Waiting with sex is good, because you want to have emotions on a more platonic level to be there, or else you find yourself being intimate with a man you really know nothing about. Once you start having sex, unless there is a good foundation already set (like friendship, or dating for a longer period of time), the relationship can be too focused on the sexual part, and it is difficult to get to know each other aside from the sexual aspect.
In other words: friendship (get to know the guy), feelings (fall in love), then sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): Everyone is different, just do what feels right and be safe! My current boyfriend and I started fooling around before we started dating, but we have been good friends since 2009! So that was right for us... but for other people a few weeks to a few months before actual sex seems normal! :)
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A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 why are you stressing? if you are not sure when to make the move and are worrying about making moves too soon, why not slow yourself down and leave it up to him?
x
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