A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, this is going to sound like all the other silly questions about getting over guys, but I am struggling. Everyone tells you to get over someone, but HOW do you do it?I have been in love with a guy for a long time. He makes me smile, and knows me better than any other person really. We have had our ups and downs, but are very close emotionally. We have never officially dated, yet he has treated me as a girlfriend (minus the sex - I am not that type of girl) for a long time. I have fallen for him, hook, line and sinker.I have tried to get him to express his feelings towards me, and to move the relationship on, yet he always seems to scared. He said he would never do anything to hurt me, and that he will always be there for me, and that he feels so much, so deeply for me. Yet he wont be my boyfriend. I saw photos of him with his arms around another girl from the weekend. Admittedly, I dont know the situation, I dont know why he was doing it, but I just wanted to cry. I still do want to cry, and I know that is pathetic. Im a grown woman for goodness sake. He obviously doesnt mean all the things he says to me, or feel the same way I do about him. So why can't I stop loving him?How do you stop caring. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess that is my problem tho. I just cant stop caring. I ache inside because it hurts so much.
All I want is for him to love me the way I love him. And I really thought he did.
A
female
reader, Hayley phil  +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Darlin' u just stop carin'...simple. I dnt think ther is a formula 2 stop carin.
Am in the same situation,right now am tryin to stop lovin' my boyfrnd bcoz he is a married man!
Its been hard for me,cryin' ol night, wantin' to go back to him,he calls me sayin he loves and misses me. its so hard,2let go someone you deeply inlove with, but i just cnt go back 2him.
So now what i do is stop thinkin' about him. I keep myself busy, i try so much not 2cry, i tel myself 'hey,u not goin' to cry anymor,u not solvin anythin', instead u make ur face swollen ugly' and as much as i feel there is no any other man like him, i keep strong.
Try talkin 2yourself,coz right now, no 1 understand what you are goin' through better than yourself!
Samthin like 'its ok,u gonna b just fine dia, u not dead just coz he isnt here'. Think of other hard situatin u've passed thru' and tell yourself, if that passed, this will 2!
I tok 2myself so much,that i panic at tyms thinkin am goin crazy,bt its helpin me in tis hurtful moment. Lets try together and see if we can make it :-) ....x
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 July 2010):
 Darling it's not easy I can tell you but the basics are:
Dont call or contact him
Put away anything that reminds you of him
Avoid places where you might bump into him
If he calls you, don't answer or reply.
Go out with your friends and focus on yourself.
Confide in a good close female friend (someone who will let you unload your feelings)
Write your feelings in a journal to get them out of your head.
Eat well and get plenty of sleep.
Accept it's not working and that it's not what he wants.
Throw yourself into work or hobbies or reorganising your home.
The sooner you get over him, the sooner you can get on and meet the guy you are really meant to be with.
lots of love xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have told him. I told him I would date him, and I have asked him if he could ever see me as a girlfriend. To which he replied he didnt want to use me as a rebound from his ex - because he cared about me too much.
But my problem is HOW do you get over someone you love? Everyone just says move on and get over him. But HOW do you actually do that?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 July 2010):
You need to stop beating around the bush. Tell him you'd like to date him as you really get on with him. He could be backing off because if he thinks you don't want to be sexual. Not that he's going to jump on you immediately but men see sex as part of the whole love deal.
Ask him outright...if he says no then begin to work on moving on and getting over him.
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