A
female
age
41-50,
*roken33
writes:My ex and i broke up about a month ago and i miss him terribly we were together for about a year his cheating ex came back in the picture and she treated him horrible. He is seeing her again is there still a chance we may work thing's out? How do you just stop loving a person and move on so quick like that?
View related questions:
broke up, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2012): Nonsense.
Stop trying to make the guy out to be some kind of mystery jerk. Maybe the answer to your question is precisely the same for him. He was with that girl before you, he obviously had strong feelings for her, whether she cheated or not, he obviously never dealt with it productively. He may have tried to get on with it because he didn't have much choice other than waiting around hoping she'd find her way back to him. He got with you but he wasn't over the ex. He made an effort but she was still something he lost. He's entitled to feel exactly the same way you feel losing someone that is greatly cared for. Doesn't make him a jackass.
He may have had real feelings for you, it's perfectly natural to have feelings and emotional connection to more than one person. Looks like his feelings and preferences were stronger for the ex, so you got the boot.
It's not likely he suddenly fell out of love and moved on so quickly - that's you not having a clue. It's likely he had an opportunity to return to that tie he was still stuck on to either make it work or to find a way to deal with rejection from safely inside it - also common. (When people are rejected/dumped, it's almost always less about their wanting to be with the person and more about damage control, being unable to handle rejection. We're hard wired to avoid rejection at all costs.
Whatever he felt for you wasn't as much as he felt for the ex, so rise above. Understand he can feel as hurt and cast aside as you feel, and hey...if he wanted to take you back after going elsewhere, you'd jump on it...so why doesn't he get the same understanding?
Be clingy, desperate, emotional and selfish and you'll probably see to it he never gets around you again.
A
female
reader, broken33 +, writes (5 March 2012):
broken33 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was actually cheating with her
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2012): he's one of those people who are unable to be alone. the minute you and him broke up he needed to get into another relationship ASAP and she came along so he'd rather be with someone who he knows is going to treat him horribly, than to be alone. You don't want someone like this, because that shows he doesn't have a strong character.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2012): You loved the person you thought he was. Not who he is. Keep reminding yourself. I have to everyday. Maybe then I can divorce my husband of 28 years. Who I found out is a cheater. At least you found out now.
...............................
|
