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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have gain a lot of weight over the years and I am obviously not the same size I was as a teenager, I have accepted that is the case and am working on losing the weight, but I do not associate myself as sexy, I am confident mentally, but not physically. My weight will not come off over night, so in the meantime what can I do to feel sexy, others offer me compliments and I do get attention for the opposite sex, I admire seeing ladies who are larger than me flaunt themselves in a sexy way, but I can’t accept it for myself.I have a feeling that this affects how I enjoy sex and masturbate as I tend to visualise sexual things happening to others rather than to myself to get off. Does anyone have any suggestions to help me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help. I am currently working out and changing my eating habits, I have a basic maintenaince regime I suppose I am a bit of a 'plain Jane' thou I intend to take on board the techniques you have both suggested.
A
female
reader, Celia2  +, writes (3 November 2012):
 Are you exercising and eating healthily? Both of these will work wonders. You will start to feel ridiculously good about yourself knowing that you're taking the appropriate steps to keeping yourself healthy from the inside out.
Also, do you maintain your physical appearance, i.e. does your hair need maintenance, your skin, etc.? If so, get your hair styled/colored/whatever you would like. Start a skin regimen. Apply noncomedogenic make-up. Purchase some new, form flattering clothing. In general, take very good care of your exterior.
It logically follows that when you make it a point to look good on the outside, you will begin to feel fantastic on the inside.
Also, have you ever tried positive affirmations for self-confidence, meditation, etc.? Look it up on youtube and zone out in a quiet place for a few minutes everyday.
Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012): I think feeling truly sexy is about confidence and self esteem. Knowing you are great as you are - whether you lose weight or not, whether you flaunt it or not. That means you are able to relax and be yourself when totally exposed, ie naked in bed with someone, without any concern for any body issues, be that weight, body hair, smell or shape of breasts etc. If you are relaxed, truly relaxed, and with the right person, you will be incredibly sexy by being your natural self. If you don't feel you are there yet, could you imagine what this might feel like? Try and fantasize about your sexy relaxed self, just as you are, rather than about other 'perfect' people. On your own there is no threat, even if you don't feel convinced, you can try it out and get used to it. Start picturing yourself as you are, your sexy confident self, being adored by someone you like. That's a real turn-on. When your self image is more sexy, you'll start being what you're believing in. You'll know you're sexy when you walk out the door. When you get that attention, you'll know it's because they know you're sexy. You'll smile your confident sexy smile and you'll feel awesome.
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