A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all.How do you know when you've found Mr Right? I've been with my guy for years now. Things aren't perfect, but we love each other unconditionally and we can always make each other laugh. We wake up each day, looking forward to being at each other's side. We don't currently live together.We're thinking of travelling, but I feel torn about studying to work in a different industry, as I am determined to find a job that makes me happy. If we travel i.e. move in together, I guess this will either make or break what we have and it will be a true test for us? I'm sure we'll be fine. The only awkward situation between the two of us is with money. He is the sort of guy that believes most things should be 50/50, whereas I have been raised by parents who strongly believe the man should pay the bulk of things in the relationship or the person that earns the most (in this case, him). I know that's not the traditional 21st century view. Unfortunately your parents views do rub off on you. I don't neccessarily think their opinion about how a couple should handle their money is right for me, but it does confuse me. Sometimes I feel more like a friend than a girlfriend with the way we use our money.What are your thoughts on:How do you know when you've found THE ONE?Do you think the money thing may become a serious issue between us if we were to make a further commitment?Can living together and travelling together bring a couple closer?
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 It sounds like he may be. When it comes to money and such, you two need to look at the partnership of being together. Both of you have different traits, and strengths in your relationship. The best relationships are where you focus on what you have to bring, without expecting each other to change or bring more in different areas. I don't believe in the 50/50, because that's not being partners. I believe in being partners there as well. It's not, one pay this and the other pays that. It's seeing as a whole what works best for your relationship. If you're partners, you don't want to develop more of a roommate situation. That's where stress and frustrations may rise.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 September 2010):
 Mr. Right is someone who would selflessly take care of you if you had cancer or your family member dies. Men come up with the idea that everything should be 50/50 because too many men had their finances drained after a divorce. In many countries women are seen as an equal as men and have caught up with making as much money as men. That doesn't mean you can use this concept on every woman. I would have a problem if every time we go out for dinner we have to tell the waitiress we are splitting the bill. In a marriage, you and him become one. Your money and his money become both of your money. Splitting everything 50/50 is just a fair gesture that shows you are not in it to take everything from him. If you can show him that you love him for him and not just his money, he might feel freer to share with you. What if he makes $100000 so he feels he's better than you, he goes out to play golf while you have to watch your expenses, stay home and watch the kids. You have to talk more so you feel more comfortable about this issue. You want to be looked at as an equal. I hope he doesn't mean literally 50/50. Living together and travelling together help you learn more about your partner. If it's meant to be you would be closer.
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