A
female
age
41-50,
*123
writes:I had a really really bad date with a man I am seeing for 7 months the other day - I now question whether he has lost interest in me or is simply playing mind games again. Your thoughts as usual would be much appreciated. Please give me opinions for both cases if possible as I really like him unfortunately!! Thanks._____________________________________________________My Awful Bad Date - PART ONE: I dressed up specially for him - he knew it too upon arrival. 1. he was late and I got there before him - then I tried to make out that I had just got there after him. 2. He was heading home - parents live far away, has to get a bus etc. - brought me to Mc D even though I was all dressed up for a restaurant sort of thing - I was okay about it but bit peeved considering he did that on purpose to annoy me. Tried to give him the hint but he pretended as if he didn't know. 3. I went to the bathroom upon arrival - he sat down with food - went to bathroom cos was really annoyed and needed to calm down/freshen up - came back and he had eaten half my meal (which I found slightly funny even though it was really irritating) when I asked him jokingly - did you eat half my meal lol - he then denies it..ouch..like why lie?? I said oh come on its okay as long as you just say! 4. Silent treatment - I would not speak to him and started to stare at him and he just stared back. 5. When he did speak he started to make fun out of me!!! em hello...I didn't say anything bad to him - then he has the nerve to say oh you make fun out of me all the time - I don't. I said to him perhaps you misinterpret but I flirt with you I don't make fun out of you geez...6. I decided to ask him if he would like me to buy him more food since he ate half of mine as a peace offering - he refused and said he was now happily full..(I was annoyed cos I was still hungry then but didnt say as didnt want him to spend any more money on me) 7. Spoke about one of my male friends on the hope it would make him see that I don't need him and that basically if he kept to treat me like crap I would just go away from him altogether. It didnt work and he just said how he had to go and get his bus etc. 8. I walked out with him - he would not hold my hand as before, I told him I was cold (it was another test) I asked if he would mind putting his arm around me just to keep me warm as I was not wearing enough clothes - he didn't and said we are in public - I said so what - that has not stopped you before! 9. Offered to walk with him to bus station to keep him company - he crossed road without me and I let him head off. 10. Tried to phone him afterwards to see if he was alright etc - got home safely - he ignored all calls and texts. Found it unfair and hurtful._____________________________________________________LIST - PART TWO:Okay apart from the basics - if anyone wants to add to my list please feel free to do so - but if this question helps us all to understand more what goes on with our relationships then why not ask it, eh? Also suggestions on what to do if you feel you are undergoing this crap!! Thanks.._____________________________________________________1. When he stops calling you - when he says he will call and then doesn't? how do you deal with this? ignore him cos he ignored you?? Or ring him eventually and say you are annoyed at the fact he did that and you find it disrespectful??2. He cuts the conversations short - says he is busy, tired etc. needs to go out - talk to someone else etc.3. Stops showing you attention - pays more to his friends than you4. Takes you off the pedestal that he once put you up on.5. Stops ringing you, txting, emails - ignores you completely. (for 2 days) 6. Doesn't APPEAR to care for you enough (though appearances can certainly be deceptive)7. And the biggie - still wants to have sex with you but does a vanishing act afterwards?? - in other words, acts less lovey dovey towards you than previously..but yet still tells you at the same time how it was the best sex they have ever had in their life!8. Says that they fancy you rotten but then give you excuses NOT to be with you??? cos they are busy, tired etc.If this was YOU - what would you do apart from ignore him completely for a few days??!! play hard to get and the usual vicious circle we don't want to be in but one that we can all end up falling into, Thanks!! B
View related questions:
flirt, money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, B123 +, writes (23 February 2009):
B123 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi Sappy Girl
Thanks for your response - I know what you mean but USUALLY does treat me properly which causes me to have this CURRENT problem. Its like all of a sudden out of the blue he is doing this and I am at a loss to know why. I confronted him about it but he is just ignoring me totally and I don't know why even though have asked him. He went to lunch with someone else today - we work in same place - he said he cant talk and then would not pick up after that! I was like what the hell is this...then after work I textn saying I would like to see him and he wrote back with until you stop calling and txting, I am not going to respond, relax and chill out! which I find is really a patronising response considering he never had the decency to say until hours later - now I have no choice but to ignore him...as that is what he wants - but am down in the dumps here - yes I guess I love a challenge but I do really like him too and the fact that what I thought of him is now turning into the opposite - I find this whole process devastating and unfair. I don't know how to go about this one. All I can do is not contact him but I mean how can you show/tell someone you really do actually love them if every time you try to they laugh at it!? B
A
female
reader, B123 +, writes (23 February 2009):
B123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Sappy GirlThanks for your response - I know what you mean but USUALLY does treat me properly which causes me to have this CURRENT problem. Its like all of a sudden out of the blue he is doing this and I am at a loss to know why. I confronted him about it but he is just ignoring me totally and I don't know why even though have asked him. He went to lunch with someone else today - we work in same place - he said he cant talk and then would not pick up after that! I was like what the hell is this...then after work I textn saying I would like to see him and he wrote back with until you stop calling and txting, I am not going to respond, relax and chill out! which I find is really a patronising response considering he never had the decency to say until hours later - now I have no choice but to ignore him...as that is what he wants - but am down in the dumps here - yes I guess I love a challenge but I do really like him too and the fact that what I thought of him is now turning into the opposite - I find this whole process devastating and unfair. I don't know how to go about this one. All I can do is not contact him but I mean how can you show/tell someone you really do actually love them if every time you try to they laugh at it!? B
...............................
A
female
reader, B123 +, writes (23 February 2009):
B123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Sappy GirlThanks for your response - I know what you mean but USUALLY does treat me properly which causes me to have this CURRENT problem. Its like all of a sudden out of the blue he is doing this and I am at a loss to know why. I confronted him about it but he is just ignoring me totally and I don't know why even though have asked him. He went to lunch with someone else today - we work in same place - he said he cant talk and then would not pick up after that! I was like what the hell is this...then after work I textn saying I would like to see him and he wrote back with until you stop calling and txting, I am not going to respond, relax and chill out! which I find is really a patronising response considering he never had the decency to say until hours later - now I have no choice but to ignore him...as that is what he wants - but am down in the dumps here - yes I guess I love a challenge but I do really like him too and the fact that what I thought of him is now turning into the opposite - I find this whole process devastating and unfair. I don't know how to go about this one. All I can do is not contact him but I mean how can you show/tell someone you really do actually love them if every time you try to they laugh at it!? B
...............................
A
female
reader, sappygirl  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 Dear B...
iknow you like him but why? he took you to McD for goodness sake. he treats you like crap. From everything that you wrote. I hate to tell you this but he is "not into you anymore" .
he is only using you for sex. i think he's become a challenge now for you to win him back over.
Honestly ... any guy who doesn't bother to offer you a coat and take you to a fast food. He's not a gentlemen.
I say dump him and find someone better.
...............................
|
