A
female
age
36-40,
*otallsmiles
writes:I am 22 years old and 71/2 months pregnant. I was with the father of my baby for 5 years and just last week he broke up with me. We still live together and just renewed our lease about a month ago. All he can say to me is he doesnt know why but he just doesn't feel the same anymore and all he cares about is trying to figure out how he's going to provide for this baby (which i can't be any happier to hear him say that). he says he'll always love me no matter what, but i know its because of the time we've spent together and the fact that im the mother of his child. Everyone i've talked to says just give him time he's just scared right now once he sees that baby he'll come back. He's only 20 years old and i know he's scared but I dont know if he'll come back. its hard to see him everyday in the same house and not hold him or tell him i love him. Ever since we broke up things have been different, he seems happier and walks around like nothings wrong so i do the same. but deep down im hurting sooooo much 5 years is a long time to be with someone and we're about to have a baby im just scared. I love him so much but i just don't think he loves me the way i do... should i still have hope he'll come back to me? should i just leave things alone? how do you cope with living with someone you love but not being with them and about to have a kid with? if anybody has any advice it would be very helpful.thanks,
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): oh dear what a predicament, and what a selfish man he truly is, just as well they dont carry the baby isnt it. it takes 2 to make a baby so why does he have a get out clause at this late stage, sit him down tell him that sharing a home is tearing you apart because you still love and want him, but that he will have to give up his share in the home and move on if he doesnt want to be with you, the child support can be arranged thru the courts, this will be really hard but it needs to be done, why should you lose your home so close to giving birth, this man has his cake and is eating it right under your nose, he is free to meet other people and has no ties to you but by being there it stops u from ever moving on, tell him if he needs time you can give him a little time but you will not wait forever, i hope you can move on and wash that man outta your hair, you deserve so much better you are at your most vulnerable time in your life and he doesnt give a toss about anyone but himself, in a few short weeks you will have a gorgeous bundle of love to give your time and energy to dont waste your head space on this loser xx
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female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (11 September 2008):
 Wow this is a tough one. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I know it is hard. I'm not saying that because I can imagine, I'm saying that because I was with a man for 2 years and he broke it off with me when I was 3 months pregnant. Your situation is a bit more difficult as I removed myself from the home and wasn't going to live in the same dwelling with him, if it was over.
I'm not going to say that he will see the baby and want to make amends with you, because it's possible he won't. However, you should talk with him and ask him what the true reason of him not wanting to be with you anymore. If in fact he is confused, which is very likely, then running, as this is sort of what he is doing, will not help. I'm sure he is scared and this may have great impact on what he is feeling and doing.
The only thing that throws a wrench in here is the fact that you say he acts happier now that you are broke up. Maybe it's because he doesn't feel as "tied" to you and the child or maybe there is something going on you have no clue about.
As far as you question about just leaving things alone. That will tear you down emotionally and honestly you should try to get to the bottom of this so you can keep yourself well and healthy for the baby.
Have you thought about moving out? Is there somewhere else you can go for a short while to think things over without being there with him? Maybe your parents or a siblings house.
A reaction from him about you moving out might also bring light to your situation.
Hope to help you along the way...
Michelle
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