A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I think I have written this before, not sure...So I'm 30 and right now I have been going to the gym. I get along with my trainer very well to the point that he teases me, tickles me and what not. I actually like him, but I do know (because he has told me) that he likes buff girls (bodybuilder type women). I have seen him tease other girls too though but not many, just 2 more.The problem with this is that I always get carried away when a guys flirts with me like that. Last time I had a guy flirt with me like that turned out it was just plain flirting nothing more. I guess he sensed I liked him since he went out of his way to tell me one day that "I was not that ugly." What I have learned from then is that when a guy doesn't like you he doesn't ask about you, or text you when you're not around (last time I used to find any excuse to text).So I guess my question is, how do you handle flirty guys without getting carried away and end up feeling rejected?
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female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (25 March 2018):
 If you're interested in them there's no harm in being flirty. Flirting with someone doesn't mean you're going to sleep with them. Flirting for many is a fun lighthearted way of meeting people or just socialising- particularly for people who are confident/ outgoing extroverts and ENJOY meeting people. It doesn't have to have sleazy undertones- If at any point you get uncomfortable with the conversation shut them down by making an excuse and walking away from them.
I also agree that for personal trainers, flirting is not only part of their spiel to bond with clients, but their jobs require them to be very confident.
And yeah if you initiate contact with a guy he'll likely guess you're interested. If he likes you he WILL reciprocate and show interest back. So if he's not biting forget about him
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 March 2018):
 Don't flirt back.
If you can't distinguish flirtation from interest then don't join in the flirting. You can still be polite and friendly but keep it at a level where you can EASILY see what's what.
It used to be that flirting was a way to show interest (not so long ago) now... it's just a way to get attention and self gratification.
And I have to say personal trainers at gyms USE flirtation A LOT - as a tool to keep customers/clients happy. It doesn't take much effort but it WORKS like a charm.
You are 30, so by now you probably know most social cues but you don't know how to read people. Not everyone are good at that.
And YES, if a guy is REALLY interested in you (or even just SEX with you) he will make an effort to talk to you about things he is into and things he finds out YOU are into.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (25 March 2018):
 Treat it as a bit of harmless fun. Remember it (quite probably) means NOTHING to them. As soon as they are away from you, they have forgotten about it. If their intentions are anything serious, they will make this obvious. Be friendly and flirty back, but then forget about it.
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