A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went out with my friends last night and ended up taking some guy home. I've never really liked one night stands and I don't know what I was thinking doing it. I'm feeling pretty bad about myself and kind of like a slut.But on top of that I haven't been separated from my boyfriend for all that long. When I started seeing him I had a good body, I was fit because I went running a lot and confident. But now after being with him for a couple of years he bullied and abused me, he said bad things about how I look, we'd just sit in the house and I started drinking quite a lot. I feel like I'm weird and nobody finds me attractive or even likes the sound of my voice or what I have to say anymore, all because of how he made me feel.I have a twin sister who was out with me last night and some guy said he always thought we were the same person but thought that it was my sister looking rough and fat one week then skinny the next time he saw her. The guy I went home with randomly said he liked big women so I feel awful today. I'm a UK size 14 and I realise this isn't skinny by any means but I didn't realise that I was considered fat or big by men. I have big boobs but my waist is 10'' smaller than my boobs and hips, so I always thought well my body is kind of attractive but after last night I feel like a big fat mess.I want to change how I am and start being more confident but because I'm sad I have no motivation, how do you get your confidence back after being in a bad relationship, if anybody has been through a similar thing, how do you get motivated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2015): Men are ^^^Makes me wonder why us women don't all just but vibrators and leave then to their size 8 porn stars.I'm so sorry this happened Hun. I'm sure your beautiful. Remember , beauty is in the eye of the beholder and many men's concepts of what's Beautiful is totally Screwed up
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2015): Thank you for replying to me, I think the best thing would be to find some kind of hobby. I'm feeling very lonely and a little bit bored because although he wasn't very pleasant to me I suppose he was always just there. I need to get out and socialise more, not going out drinking because I think taking some guy home wasn't the best thing to do. I just feel worse.
I've signed up to counselling the domestic violence people who work for the police are sorting it out for me. I suppose I don't feel fat or anything it's just those comments have caught me off guard. Never mind. I'll try and think of some hobbies to get involved with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2015): Sorry to hear about your breakup. Sounds like you are much better off though, if you got away from an abusive lush. Please know that you are attractive and worthy of respect and love. No matter if you have gained a few pounds. Size 14 is the same as Marilyn Monroe! You don't need to look like your sister to be found alluring by many men!My advice to you would be to find an activity/hobby/sport that you are interested in, and start participating in it. When you see yourself improve your skills at this activity, you will build self-esteem. Also, you may meet other people, men and women, that have this same interest. They will notice and applaud your successes here, also helping you feel better about yourself.If you start to really feel down, it may be a good idea to consider some short term counseling. Abuse is tough to recover from, and it is not a bad thing to ask for help with this. Lots of secular and religious organizations have low cost or free programs if money is an issue.Surround yourself with friends and family that build you up, and do not let others take advantage of you.All the best, hope this will help.
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