A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was dating a guy but know now he's not right for me. I ended it with him. He's dating other women, not exclusive though. I liked him and he was the first guy I had sex multiple times with. However, I just know deep down he's not for me because of our religious differences, culture, etc. But he's so sexy. We had sex after 2 months of being apart and it felt so great. I have high standards for sexiness at this point and the guys I'm going on dates with don't compare one bit. I'm wanting to have sex more but just be friends. But I'm afraid that'll make it harder for me to get serious with someone else esp since I won't be able to get over his lookshoulder and physical traits. We have a great friendship too. Should I continue having casual sex with him and date others seriously or just stop? How do you get over someone who is sexually gratifying and stunning? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am definitely not in love. Not even close. But I need to cut all contact. I am not giving others a chance because I'm not letting that happen. Thank you!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2016): You are trading away your self respect in exchange for a sexy guy. Is it worth it? He isn't your boyfriend, he is a piece of candy.
As for the other guys, do you like the thought of being compared to the sexiest trainwreck bimbo that any of them ever messed with? That is like what you are doing to them.
We would all be better off if we didn't date people who are so obviously not relationship material. Modern values say it's perfectly okay but this is what it really does. We pick unhealthy "relationships" with sexy losers and then we compare the real winners to their attractive bodies later. The outcome isn't good for anyone but the attractive losers.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2016):
 You are not allowing yourself to get over him. You are pretending that friendship and sex is enough but deep down it is not. Plus he is dating others so you need to be careful you don't catch anything.
I think to get over him and move on you need to stop having sex with him. Give other guys a chance and don't compare anybody to him. Also you need to remember why you are both not together and remember how different you both are.
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A
female
reader, MartiJJ  +, writes (28 October 2016):
 There isn't a way of getting over someone your in love with! It sounds as though you are more involved in this relationship than you are admitting to, anyone who's ever been in love finds their partner sexually gratifying and stunning and a lot more, I genuinely doubt you would be able to simply become FWB given that it sounds your already smitten, why can't people from different cultures and with different beliefs have a successful relationship, in fact it happens frequently, unless what you mean is your culture/beliefs wouldn't accept his, or visa versa, in which case you need to ask what's more important, being accepted by others or being accepted by this guy? If that's even still an option now he's moving on!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (28 October 2016):
 You can't date seriously while having sex with someone else, so that's not an option.
To get over someone, you have to treat it like a break up - cutting contact and moving on, not giving in to urges just because you have them.
Don't compare guys to him or you won't give anybody a chance because you're hung up on someone you're not compatible with - "sexiness" isn't the priority for a long term relationship; you may need it and shouldn't be with someone you're not sexually attracted to, but it shouldn't Ben the main thing. If you keep standards that are too high because of this guy, you'll miss guys who may not be as "sexy" to you, but are still attractive to you and are a better fit.
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