A
female
age
41-50,
*lairyfairy
writes:How do u get over someone who has absoluelty crushed you. I hate my ex 4 what hes done to me. He mentally abused me and made me paranoid about things and myself. And yet i worry what hes doing. Find myself thinking bout him and what hes doing now hoping hes not happy. Hes just such a charmer and people love him. And yet it makes me so angry for him to get attention like that. Hes so full of it and has no idea what he did to me.i keep going over everything what he did to me its like i cant let go of the situation! Oh hes a womaniser before i met him he had been with nearly 100 women. We broke up for 6 months and he had slept with 10 more. Yes he told me all about it! And this was when he was begging me back! He still says now i am not like the rest im so special and will always be front line. Im just angry the way i fell for it all cos i was head ouer heels and he played on it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (31 May 2009):
 The simple answer is to put him out of your mind...
Yeah... always a difficult thing to do, but let me make a suggestion. I am thinking that if he's a womanizer, then (psychologically speaking) he's got something to prove -- either to himself or to his friends all waiting for the flight reports from last night's conquests. Either way, he's got an issue where he feels the need to prove his manliness by being with as many women as he can. With that thought in mind, you feel crushed by his insensitivity to you and your emotions and needs... but here's the secret to overcoming him -- it's really he that's the lost soul here. He's aimlessly looking for something or someone to fill some void he's got. You can't change that... what you can do is pity him. You know that you are better and he is still lost. Revel in the fact that you know what you want from a relationship (more or less all the things he's not able or willing to give). You should also be happy within yourself to know that you recognized all that you wanted and were smart enough to realize that he can't deliver it.
More or less, I'm suggesting that you concentrate on your own personal happiness and not miss the ex-boyfriend, but perhaps feel sorry that he's still trying to get his own head settled and know what he wants.
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