A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you get over a crush when you can't avoid contact with the person? I've had a crush on a co-worker for a long time. I've tried different things to try and get myself over her, but none of them seem to work. I've tried dating, limiting my contact as much as possible, keeping conversations strictly business, but nothing works. She has a boyfriend, and is happy so I don't want to confess anything. Besides, I don't think it would help...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, A Man +, writes (7 April 2010):
If it's stopping you from dating other people, you have a real big problem that takes a real big solution. Quit.
I know it sounds like VERY extreme, but it sounds like this crush is ruining your life. Sometimes you have to take drastic measures to fix the path your on. You could maybe try to have you boss place you in a different department that never sees her.
Basically, with this heavy of a crush, you need to cut all contact, at ALL costs. If quiting isn't an option, you'll just have to be straight with her. Tell her that you have a crush on her and it's effecting your work. Ask her to try to avoid contact with you, so that you can focus on your work. If you bring it from this approach, it sounds more like your trying to stay professional at your job, not that your a dork who can't get over her ;)
Don't be shy when you say it, just state it as facts, in a professional, calm manner. Pretend they aren't even your emotions, that your trying to resolve something for a friend.
Then just don't talk to her unless you need to for your job, and then only in a cold unprofessional voice.
Who knows, maybe she's liked you in the past too and will consider you if she dumps this current boyfriend. But its important you don't come off as trying to come between this crush and her boyfriend. That would be bad.
So just make it about work. See what happens. I know this seems like it would take a lot of courage, but just remember that there are plenty of girls out there that would be great for you, not just this one.
Either way, you need to get on with your life, so put on your tuff face and get it over with!
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