A
female
age
41-50,
*ella555
writes:I'm still suffering from a shattered heart, and I know I'm not in any way ready to begin dating again, but I'm wondering how on earth you get back out there once it's time. Do you have to force yourself? Is it easier to just attend parties or gatherings and let fate take its course? Worse still, what if you meet someone well-intentioned and decent, someone you could actually see yourself with but you just can't go ahead?Guess I can answer that last one...means you're not ready.I just don't know how to approach this when the time comes. It's as if I'm looking for an exit in a room with no doors or windows. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (28 November 2010):
Bella555 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your kind replies--you both offer the encouragement I know I need to hear. During and since all the rigmarole with my ex, I've had offers from an interesting spectrum of guys, meaning there were actually a few acceptable men in the bunch. Every time I've even slightly entertained the idea of more than platonic contact with any of them, I've felt seasick. This is my heart telling me I'm not ready to go this far forward romantically, indeed, and I wonder when/if that feeling will subside. This relationship has been that intense, and though I've been through similar heartbreak, nothing has ever been this wrenching. Losing my soul mate feels as if I'm involuntarily having my organs harvested while I'm conscious and watching the entire procedure.
Once I've been completely divested of my entrails, I'm off in jump in that ice cold pool...:) And just so you know, that's only intended as a bit of morbid self-deprecating humor. I actually think tennisstar has offered a fitting metaphor for the situation, and all the requisite hesitation and doubt that go along with it.
Thanks again. :)
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 I always felt like it was jumping into the pool for the first time. You're scared because you have never done it, you know the water's going to be cold. But you take a running leap and close your eyes then jump in. Oops, you forgot to hold your nose..Then you got chlorine up your nose. But you now you remember to hold it next time.
Always say yes to girl's night out, parties, social gatherings, it's a great way to meet your friend's single friends. Don't be afraid, it's something that you remember doing before. It actually helps you get over that guy who shattered your heart. Gotta take a running leap in.
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