A
male
age
41-50,
*orontoGuy
writes:Question:How do you feel about your significant other keeping in touch or remaining friends with a long-term ex? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): well i have never been a fan of keeping any ties with exes coz you can never be careful enof. where relationships end and there is still a friendship it can be very dangerous coz it takes a few minutes together and alone to hurt ones present relationship. it means so much and it must not be encouraged
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2007): I totally agree that it depends on the type of relationhship they have now. I too am friends with an ex, we are much more compatible as friends- but the boundaries are clear. Our friendship has interfered with two of his past relationships and one of mine. We are certainly more aware of this now and have created some distance.
What goes around comes around, because now I find myself in the position of uncertainty and discomfort. My current boyfriend maintains contact with his ex. Talks about wanting to see her when he returns home for a visit, and he is friends with her mother. Hmm, what else... oh yeah I overheard him tell her that he missed her and loved her. He claims that they have both moved on but he will always love her as a friend. Our relationship has enough issues, why can't he see why this seems so innapropriate to me? We are in our early twenties, I am a year and half older, does this factor in? Is it wrong for me to think that part of being in a grown up relationship is building on trust and letting go of the past?
I don't want to tell him to break all ties because that does seem extreme, but what can be done when his past is effecting our future?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): i personally hate it and won't put up with it. Tell them to move on or move out.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): no way would i want his ex in our future,she`s his past and thats where she belongs in the past
...............................
A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (5 April 2007):
 Personally I dont have a problem with it. My boyfriend still has contact with his ex whom he was engaged to, and to be perfectly honest its great.
He see's what he had and what he has now. So he knows what a good choice he made. Thats the way I see it! For each person it will be different.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007): I think this really depends on what kind of relationship they have. It may be nerve-wracking to know that your gf/bf is still talking to his/her ex, but I know that I'm still friends with my ex and I have completely gotten over him and feel like there is no possible way that we could ever be more than friends again. Think of it this way, many of the things that we look for in our gf/bf's are the same things that we would want to have in a friend. A friend is also someone who knows you really well, and of course an ex will know you well. I'm not saying there's nothing to worry about, but just be sure that there are no romantic feelings left. Of course, that is also dependent on how much you trust your significant other...
...............................
A
female
reader, mistydawn  +, writes (5 April 2007):
 Omg, i didnt think anybody was ever in my life going to ask this. Well i think its horrible that your significant other would even want to. My boyfriend did and it pissed me off so bad. He just stopped talking to her and we have been dating for over a year...CRAZY but he finally got that i hated her.
...............................
|
