A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i really cant go on like this anymore...how do u fall out of love with someone who is your best friend.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-meet-up-with-him-even-though.htmlthis is the link to my last Q!since i last sent you a question...we spoke on the fone and he started spkin to me like notin had changed...but i have this real strong feeling that they are still together!but i also have this feeling that she is using him at the same time! coz she wants to go into the same field(area of law as him) so he is helpin look for jobs..he helps her wiv cv and covering letter..everything! they seem really close..but where do i stand now!i dont want to stand in the way of his happiness...but really cant control my feelings/emotions anymore!has anyone been in the same shoes as me? help me please!! im really hurting here!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): I think it is wishful thinking on your part that his current girlfriend is using him to get a job....if they are both in law school and looking for jobs they should not have any trouble finding one, they have similar goals and working on them together shows a bit of commitment on their parts to each other.
You don't seem to know at all where you stand with this guy and it seems to me your contact is strictly by phone...and the dates never happen.
Here is a hard fact. If this guy was really interested in you romantically, time would magically appear, he would ask to see you, he would ask you out and make a date.
You are a friend to him and that is it. Now is it because doesn't think you have romantic interest in him? Possibly, but you will never know unless you make a move on him, sometimes women have to make the first move. If you have this strong of an obsessive feelings about him, it could be that you have just built him up in your mind and the feelings of rejection you are feeling are intense and you are mistaking this for love, it isn't love, it is insecurity and doubt and hurt, and intense feelings have a way of masking the reality of the situation..
So take a breather, clear you head, get some distance and ask yourself what do you want? Are you willing to lose a friendship for a romance? It seems to me even the friendship is painful to you. Possibly if you tell him you are interested in dating him and he doesn't respond positively then you have lost a painful friendship. If he does respond the way you hoped then you will know sooner than later if your feelings are returned and if they have any basis for a real relationship.
Doing nothing is a decision too, perhaps you don't want to be romantic with anyone right now. Only you know the answers to these questions, so do some soul searching and figure it out. No risk no gain.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): i know this is hard, but how much do you value your friendship?
Do you really think it's better if you two remain friends?
Trust me, i've lost alot of people because of the same reason, if you really find that person worth waiting for ...
it's gona tear you up badly ..but things might work out ..
it's up to you (: ,
hope you make the right decision,
take cares (:
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