A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had asked this question earlier just to give a little background to my problem. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-get-started-with-her.htmlAnyway I was going to follow a lot of the advice and tread lightly with this girl. Problem is I was really infatuated with her. I love making her smile and laugh. So I wanted to ask her out again to another date after the New Year.Problem is literally at the stroke of midnight, I found out she just got into a relationship with someone. I'm happy for her, she deserves it after all she's been through, and I hope he's good for her.However I still feel like I just got shot in the chest. She didn't do anything wrong but I'm heart broken. I drank heavily, wrote down my sad thoughts, feeling sorry for myself, and cried. I thought this would get easier the older I got since it's happened before. Fall for an amazing woman and then heart break from unrequited feelings. She's just so special that it just hurts so much.How do I deal with this? It's agony! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2018): Don't invest 100% emotionally in a person especially when you don't know if she's single or not. It's a childish, school boy mistake. Not even when in a new relationship in my opinion. Be a good person to whoever you're with. Don't cheat. Do your best to not hurt their feelings. But it wouldn't be too smart to make your happiness depend on another person unless it's a marriage. Get out, hang with the boys, do whatever hobby that makes you happy. If someone nice comes along,great.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (2 January 2018):
 The main thing to take away from this is that no matter how right things felt between you and this girl, it was NOT meant to be. Believe me buddy I've been exactly where you are, where it feels that things are going great and you can see a fantastic potential only for something to come in between and stop it from happening.
She found someone she felt compatible with, she mustn't of gotten that with you, which is completely fine. You're looking for love just the same that she is so it's good that you say you're happy despite how much it's hurting you.
This just means that someone else is out there for you, she might take a while to find but she is out there looking for the same thing that you are. I'm 26 years old and only just recently found my first GF. I have been in your spot but I was speaking to a girl for just under 2 years before I had finally had enough of being strung along and in only 3 months of being in a relationship I'm happier than I ever was in those 2 years. Believe me it feels great.
There has been girls before that have touched your life and left and there will be girls after this that do the same. Life would be much simpler if the first person we found was our soul mate but that would he way too easy. You have to keep wading through the ones that don't fit. So you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself down, work on yourself for as long as necessary and then put yourself back out there.
Keep busy, join a gym or club, spend time with family and friends you may not have seen in a while, dive into work or school. Do things that keep you focused as the world will not stop turning because you're upset, so don't even think about falling into a slump.
Keep your chin up, keep powering through and you'll meet someone one day which will make you realise why things didn't work out with this one.
Best of luck
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