A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:When growing up one of the hardest distinctions to impose is between love and a fumble. I have both been involved in sexual encounters that I wanted to pursue further (but they didn't), or ones that they wanted to take to the dating stage (but I didn't). It's rare a one night stand leads to anything but a thrill and in spite of that it still hurts when someone shows no interest after one. My question is I know the best way to deal when someone is not into me (i.e. get over it, don't label them, move on) but how do you deal with someone who wants more from you. In the digital age, a lot of people just ignore calls/texts from the person the following morning, and in london this seems with a lot of people to be the best (or easiest way of doing things). Anyway, how do I respond to a text along these lines: "hey mister, was great to meet you. Hope I'll see you again at some point - since we live quite close, maybe cinema or something? Anyway, enjoy the weather. x". take into account I have no interest in going on a date (assuming thats what they want) but I wouldn't mind being friends or atleast wouldn't want to be mean.
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move on, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (26 April 2008):
 Hmm. Yes, OK, you sound at least as level-headed as most young men in their early twenties! What I was really getting at is that I think sex should be the pinnacle of a loving relationship, not a start point. I think there are few people who can genuinely cope with a series of brief encounters that aren't much more than jumping into bed with a partner they don't know very well - and those who do it regularly find it far more difficult to settle into the relationship they want a little later in life. May I suggest, while fully realising that you don't want to waste time, that you consider getting to know a prospective partner over at least a week or two before leaping into bed? I do speak from a little experience - more than a little. I'll admit I was a bit wild in my youth, and I know only too well how difficult it is to put that behind you and to adjust properly.
Oh... I only just spotted your first additional comment. My comments still apply, I think. A relationship is a relationship, and sex is sex, whether it's a same-sex or male/female.
Good luck in finding your perfect partner!
A
male
reader, MrOveranalysing +, writes (26 April 2008):
MrOveranalysing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, that's helpful. I 100% agree with the 'one night stands' comment, and I'm not one of those people but as much as I want to be a serious relationship, it only happen with the right person and the right time (and I'll have to actively pursue one).
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (26 April 2008):
"Hey! Yeah! That would be real nice. I'll give you a call some time. Bit busy at work right now. Maybe in a few months? You're really great. Love ya lots."
And, seriously, consider whether "one night stands" are going to make it far more difficult for you to cope with a sustainable relationship in the future. You might find that one day you want one, and it's so much harder to make it work if all you have become accustom to is a series of brief sexual encounters. If you are one of the few people who can really cope with that then good for you, but think of your one-off partners too.
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A
male
reader, MrOveranalysing +, writes (26 April 2008):
MrOveranalysing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCan I just add - in this particular situation -I met this guy drunkenly in a club and this led to me having the one night stand back at his place.
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