A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: In a situation where you have to spend a reasonable amount of time at a function where both your partner and his ex are present, how do you handle it? Do you act like the ex is a stranger and only talk to them if they talk to you? Do you seek them out in an effort to be friendly? Or do you ignore them? I will be in this situation soon and not quite sure what to do as this is my first boyfriend so I am inexperienced. What have other people done in this situation? What do you recommend?
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female
reader, deirdre +, writes (13 May 2015):
i wouldnt seek them out ever, just act as if they arent there. Believe me that is the best way. They might think you still have feelings for him still if you start talking to them. Just totally ignore them and pretend you havent seen them
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 May 2015):
Act with grace and dignity.
Which means if you RUN into her, say hi, how are you?. Be polite. Doesn't mean you have to stand around chatting. The whole ignore would come off as insecure or petty. (even if it was just NOT knowing what to do).
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 May 2015):
When I run into my ex husband at our yearly events I hug him and his wife. they say hi to my hubby... we are civil and sometimes we even play games together.
Are we friendly outside of this? Not really. but we are always civil and polite.
I recommend you not worry about it and go with the flow.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2015): Haven't been in the situation myself... but I wouldn't seek out the ex. If you're boyfriend introduces you then be friendly and polite. If he doesn't introduce you but talks to her in front of you then introduce yourself without being too pushy or intrusive. If he ignores her then you ignore her. My advice is based on you not knowing the girl at all by the way. And what does he think of the situation?
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