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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: any advice will do. here it goes about 5 yeaars ago my ex girlfriend (highschool sweetheart) left me 4 another guy i was crushed because i thought we were 2gether 4ever.Looking back i did deserve it i was horible 2 her i treated her very badly. This break up destroyed my self confidence and me as a person. I became very depressed and gained alot of weight. I knew it was the universe giving back to me what i had put my ex through 4 for years. I learned alot about myself through all this and promised myself things would be different with the next girl i meet. It was tough meeting any girls as i had no confidence in myself I was still over weight and could not even look at a women in her face. I would pray to god every night to send me an angel someone who would see who i was in the inside not what i looked like. One day i meet this beautiful girl and we became friends. About 5 months of our friendship she confessed her feeling 4 me i was the happiest guy in the world. After being together 4 about 1.5 years she left me for no reason I was the total opposite with her i treated her good i did all i could 4 her. I was a little insecure with her it seemed as if everyone i meet from her friends and family would question y she was with me considering she was so beautiful and me well not so much. it just seems i can't get it right with anybody i have no self esteem or confidence in myself 4 these reasons. Is this normal to feel this way? what can i do to gain confidence in myself? and how do women really want to be treated i tried both the asshole and sweetheart and nothing seems to work. or is there just something wrong with me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): each girl likes to be treated differently,and wants differnt things from a relationship. just treat them with respect.
and i dont think that it was your fault, you cant blame yourself every time you break up with someone.
x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): Maybe you did get it right, and she was the one who got it wrong? Have you considered that?
You could be the most amazingly brilliant person in the whole world, but if the other person has issues, or isn't ready for a relationship and wants to ruin it or end it then there is nothing you can do to fix things.
It sounds to me that you learnt a lot from your first relationship, well done. With your second relationship, maybe you have learnt an opposite lesson - that sometimes it is the other persons faults that cause a relationship to fail. You should feel confident in knowing it was not your fault. There is nothing wrong with being a little insecure - when you are with the right person, you both complement each other so those little insecurities fade away.
So, don't "try" to be anything but yourself. And maybe, put the last relationship more down to an incompatibility, rather than blaming yourself and thinking there is something wrong with you.
You've learnt very different things from these relationships, perhaps you are now ready to meet the right person?
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