A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with a guy for a year. Recently there was a lot of communication problems because of our final exams taking place consecutively. We have not been talking properly for 48 days. I met him some days before and found a change in his behavior.Previously he used to be very frank and jolly. He used to avoid the whole world when he was with me but now he just can't stop facebook-ing and texting other people. His behavior was quite weird. He wanted to leave as soon as possible. I felt as if he came to meet me against his will. I couldn't figure out any reason. I always give him lots of "space". So there is not a question about "suffocation" in our relationship.I suspect that his feelings have changed during this "void period". On confrontation he says that he has not developed any feelings for any other girl. Well, during the "void period", I got a text from an old friend of mine asking me to meet him someday for hanging out. Then we started interacting a lot. Now, I think I am falling for this guy. I have lost the charm I had in my relationship due to this.This guy(my friend)is in a relationship since 10 months. I suspect that he is also falling for me. His girlfriend is also avoiding him. We are filling each others "void". I know that this is just a passing phase. Differences with my boyfriend is the main cause behind this instability of mine.I think my boyfriend is also passing through a similar phase.I am trying my best to normalize things between me and my boyfriend as well as me and my friend.I don't my relationship with my boyfriend to get over. Is there any solution to solve the "unknown" differences? P.S: My boyfriend is not telling me the reason behind his weird behavior.
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female
reader, Marilissa75  +, writes (16 March 2014):
 Ask your boyfriend out on a date and talk about what has been happening and let him know you want to be with him and see what he says. If you talk and it is clear he is not into it anymore, then end it (perhaps you will mutually end it) and do not contact him. He may miss you and reach out to you eventually. This thing with this other guy needs to be put on hold until you are both single again and can pursue something without hurting or deceiving others, lest there be a lot of pain for all involved. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2014): OK. While it's not "bad" or "wrong" for people who are in romantic relationships to have opposite-gender friends, it sounds like you're falling for your friend/he's falling for you. If that's the case, as much as it sucks, it's probably wise to cut the relationship off. I'm not saying you're "going" to cheat, but the attraction is there and even if it's not acted upon, your boyfriend (and friend's girlfriend) probably aren't going to be comfortable with that at all! That could lead to "sneaking around" just to hang out and sneaking around is sneaking around.I don't know why Boyfriend is spending time on facebook/his phone when he's with you, or why you don't have all his attention anymore, but after the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship, this sort of thing happens all the time. How many long-time-married couples do you see who are constantly "all about eachother" when they're face-to-face and are constantly cuddling and affectionate? While it happens "sometimes", most of the time, they're not like most "new" couples you see. Things slow down and get "comfortable" after awhile. You could always ask him to give you more attention when you are together, especially if you don't get to see each other that often. I've had to say to my boyfriend, "Hey, you don't text other people during sex, why would you do that when we're eating/when I'm talking to you/cuddling with you?" He just laughed and said that I did have a point, he WAS being rude. Unless one of us is texting a family member (to tell them that we're busy unless it's an emergency), there's no reason behind that - we have PLENTY of time to do that.It's also possible that your boyfriend realized after being apart from you that he just isn't all that into you after all (in other words, his crush faded, as does happen even to the nicest people) I'm really sorry that that's happening to you. I would maybe talk to him, tell him you're afraid he's not that into you anymore and ask him to be honeset: does he want to continue the relationship or is he done? If he is not done, let him know you'd like to get back to what you had in the beginning (being affectinoate, having all each other's attention, flirting etc) and maybe give yourselves a specific "date night" each week to explore each other and act like you just met - maybe you can rekindle the spark. I hope I helped!
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