A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a relationship with a guy that I love, he hasn't cheated on me but he has said many stupid things that have lessened my trust for him/brought out those age old feelings of insecurity. He's made some really stupid comments about other girls that I definitely chalk down to inexperience and immaturity, as well as being very flirty with others in front of me for awhile. A lot of his friendships with other girls have been very flirty and sexual in nature (discussion wise) which I really don't think is very respectful when you're in a relationship with someone. He's stopped now because I explained how it made me feel, and he too feels like an idiot for all of the things he's said and done. I forgive him for these mistakes but I can't get over my trust issues. We get along so amazingly well in every other respect, this is the only area we have any problems and I would love to work through it. Rationally I believe he would never cheat on me but it doesn't stop me worrying myself sick in certain circumstances.I don't attempt to control where he goes or who he talks to (and never would), the form that my insecurity takes tends to be getting really upset about it from time to time.I don't think about him cheating on me but I constantly worry about him being inappropriate with other girls and it makes me feel like I'm just not enough! It's not an issue I have with my own looks or personality because I'm very happy with both of those.So my question is, how can we rebuild trust? How do I get over this crippling sense of insecurity! He's trying hard to make it up to me and I'm trying hard not to let it get in the way of an otherwise good relationship.If you've been through this and made it to the other side I would love some input
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cheated on me, flirt, insecure Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Hey Gal,I know what you mean... i get traumatized even if my boyfreind finds other women hotter than me... but since you have spoken to him and he has understood and as you say has stopped-- do give him a chance to change. About trust you just have to give it time. if you're sure you've got your message across to him clearly enough, let him mend his ways. the only way u can trust him is if his behaviour proves to you that he has changed for your sake. Dont worry girl, be positive, and whenevr you do see concrete evidence of him having changed, verbally appreciate it to him. all t best!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it :)
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 February 2008):
 You have to allow him to grow up at his pace.You cannot rushed it.
If he makes a mistake , he will learn from it.Give him time and accept him and do not judge him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): Hi Sweetheart
Im going to send you a link on self esteen hunny as this has knocked it a little, Have you been hurt in the past also? I can understand how this would have made you feel hunny, Some guys do it to purely make themselves feel better about themselves and that would be fine once you build trust, I mean talking about sex infront of you with other girls is abit insensitive as girls can take it like he wants sex with them so yea Im with you hunny, You must always have trust in you and you sound as if you are confident this has just put feelings there that you dont want, Like a sicky unhappy feeling that wont go away. In time if he helps you build that trust and understands how certain situations hurt you then it will get stronger. For now have a read of this self esteem and I hope it helps you feel better not all of it will apply to you hunny but I hope it is of some help
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php?ad=lm614
TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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