A
female
age
36-40,
*ebe87
writes:I just recently ended a relationship that was a little over 2 years long. However, I semi checked out quite some time ago due to his reverting back to old habits of drinking and temper, and just knowing I deserved way better and I’m not in it to settle. Several months ago I met someone and though I was in a committed relationship I didn’t act on my feelings with him. So now that I am single I have been talking to him every day (mind you, I was always thinking about him and what it would be like to be with him, during my relationship, but I stayed true to my partner) we text almost constantly and are seeing each other pretty often. You know how people who are married say, “you just know when it’s the right one” well he is, I picture a long happy life with him walking the isle holding his hand and sharing our dream to become parents together (he can’t wait to be a father anymore than I can’t wait to be a mother, and that’s always been so important to me, to find someone who shares that same passion for children) I see him always sticking by my side and taking great care of me and us both being very happy. So here is my hold up, for some reason it is like the ice hasn’t been broken between us (in person, I say that because of course it’s different in texting. With that we are much further along) It’s like we are in elementary school again where it was even kind of awkward to hold hands. I am very attracted to him and I know he is to me as well by things he has said and done, when he leaves after we had an evening together I hug him and walk into my house with my back against the door and close my eyes and take a deep breath of lust wishing I had just kissed him. The odd thing is, ask any of my friends or family or even him for that matter and they will all tell you I do not hold anything back except with him, I always speak my mind and have been told I am extremely outgoing. But with him it’s like I am a shy school girl again. How do I break that awkwardness because I know when we finally do it will be the start of a great journey. I know he senses me uncomfortable and it makes him back off a little, he has told me just yesterday that just the thought of being with me would be a dream come true for him. What do I do because I really want this to pass like, YESTERDAY?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2011): I have an idea. Invite him over. Have a nice candle-lit dinner. Wear something pretty/sexy but not too over the top. Play soft music. Really do the whole "romance" thing, and you take charge. And of course you're nervous and feeling like a school girl, that's normal.
Then start doing things like, putting your hand on his or brushing agianst him, etc. I bet once he sees you're not holding back it will all fall into place naturally from your explanation. He may be holding back worried that he's a rebound, or worried you're not ready. So you need to take charge and just do it! :)
Good luck!
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