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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with a my man for a little over 2 years. Things were always fab with us, sex, laughs so much in common and we are madly in love. We have a great relationship except for the sex, as he's not interested or can't be bothered.. what do i do to get it back ? I have tried everything you can imagine and I mean everything, looking at porn, dressing up, enacting fantasies etc..and he's still not bothered..he used to be, and we had such a great sex life,. I have had various chats with him and nothing changes, he says he loves me wants to be with me and that he is very happy with me, but doesnt see that we have to have sex all the time... I dont mean i want it all the time some of the time would be nice... he does look at porn and when asked about it he just says that its what mean do and its pretty normal... id agree but he can have me for real, so why choose them ? he says he fancies me and things are great. I now feel as though he thinks im pushing him away as im obsessed that we are not having sex, its got to the stage where im constantly thinking things like " hes not having sex me, gotta get him to have sex with me" this then obviously puts pressure on as it was so perfect before... i dont know how to release this pressure and to stop thinking about it and to try and let nature take its course... the more i go on about it the worse it gets, he still looks at porn regardless, althought that doesnt bother, at least it wouldnt if we were having sex, there doesnt seem to be a reason why we arent... hes very loving and very giving all other times, just seems as though its just easier to masturbate to get what you want than to have sex. How can i get him to understand that i need him to want me sexaully.. no matter how many times i ask, he tells me he fancies finds me attractive and does want sex with me just not all the time.. its hardly ever lately and its got where i cant mention as it he feels that im not listening to him, when he tells me he loves me and fancies me etc... he does tell me this all the time, just we dont have a lot of sex. I dont understand why, i thought all men loved it when their partners were well up for sex... i never turn he down, but he does me. and im sure he thinks im now just demanding sex, how can we get it to be more natural as it seems to now be, me wanting it and him thinking thats all i want him for.. when all i want is a healthy sex life... i love him more than life... and this is really difficult... please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (3 December 2005):
 Basically have you tried profession coupke counseilling. Basically you are not the probelm he is if he says he loves you and is not interested in sex thats no relfection on you its a reflection on him. He needs to sort himself out. howver if he is not intereted in you ask him this question where is this relationship going? Howveer there is nothing to stop you from having fun with someone else.Basically do not waste your time with this guy. find someone else who can look after your needs and treat you the way you want to be treated.
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