A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here is what happened. I m in my mid thirties, one child, divorced, but good relationship with a father of my daughter.She adores him and also I love his family, parents, sister and so on, and they seem to love me.I m very busy with my work, travel a lot, really enjoy my life, friends, hobbies. All is good. When I first divorced my husband I started dating a little. It was 4 years ago. Well, we all know what dating is. I ve met all kinds, as all of us.It interfered greatly with my family. There was always issue with a bAbysitter, then I I felt bad with wasting this precious time on someone I probably never see again, instead of spending it with my child.. Now my daughter doesn t need a babysitter, as she is a teenager, more independent, but I tell u the truth got fed up with ocassioanl boyfriends that I had. It was always some drama going on, plus having a growing girl didn't help also. I had trust issues.I was perfect fine living my not so bad life, the only problem was very rare occurrence of sex. As I didn't want a boyfriend anymore, or really just dating again, my sex encounters happened occasionally, often only once with a guy, usually when I travel.Emotionally I was fine. I really didn't get attached to any of these sexual partners that I had, sometimes I felt like guys usually feel:I just wanted sex, and no talking after.lol.Of spme of them I had a very sweet memories that I still have, some came and went without any regrets. It sounds like it happened often, but it really didn't .it really happened like 5-6 times a year.Well, this time it was very different. I trAveled again to a foreign country. And I met a guy in a lobby of a hotel. He wasn t really my type at first, cute but not tall or really good looking, seemed like I kept on making that choice lately. We talked a little, finding out that we are from the same country. Then I said I was going on a tour, i left.there was something in him, that kept me thinking about him through the tour. When I came back to hotel, here he was in a lobby. We went for a drink, and kept on talking till 4 in a morning. He didn't make any attempt to make out, I asked him into my room,we kept on tAlking, I was laying on my bed, he is sitting in a chair. Then he said he was cold, I said come, cover yourself with blanket. Then he kissed me so gently, then we fell asleep, holding each other. I had to fly on a morning. We kept on hugging each other in a morning, and he kept telling me that I need to change my policy about not having boyfriends anymore until my daughter goes to college.I was totally in love. A week passed since then, I keep thinking about him. I felt like I met my soulmate. The whole night was just perfect. It's probably silly, but I feel like it could be something, because I didn't feel like this for a very long time.Suddenly felt so lonely after that night, and thought that it could be very nice to have someone like this guy for longer than one night or may be forever.he made me thinking abput my decision few years ago to fin ish with looking for a relationship until my daughter is still at home.I m still traveling, home next week. May be it's just me feeling lonely in this foreign country, I don't know. When I come back i ll see what happens. So question to you ,single mothers out there, how do you start all over again looking for a mate having a child to raise? I couldn't do it, any advices?
View related questions:
divorce, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): Thanks for your input, other prospective from a different side, thanks a bunch. I need to think this over, I really liked that guy, felt like vie known him forever, good kisser too.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2011): I know you asked for advice from single mothers, but I just want to express what it was like being the teenage girl with a single mother. My parents divorced when I was 3 leaving me and my older brother and my Mum. She never dated and she never brought men into the house.
I feel terrible for my mum though, in a way I wish she got out there and met somebody else, but she has always told me she wasn't looking for someone, she had two children growing up and she didn't want to hurt us bringing a fatherly figure into our lifes when we never had our own father (haven't seen my dad since they divorced). Whenever I heard one of her friends ask why she hadn't found another man, she told them she wasn't looking, but if someone walked into her life and was perfect, that she would give it a go. ( so maybe you should give it go!)
So thinking about how your daughter would feel about it, I'm sure that she wants you to be happy. I know how lonely my Mum is, and I don't want her to be, as much as I would HATE someone being with my mum, she's been mine and mine only my whole life, why would I want someone else in her life? But that's selfish of me. She hated when I first started having relationships with boys, I was her little girl still, and there was someone else in my life taking me from her, but she accepts it, and I need to too when that day comes around. She deserves to have the company, and so do you. So if you meet a man that's worth it, then give it a go?
Just as long as your still a very supportive mother and talk about dating someone with her, then everything should be okay, I just really think communication is the key with your daughter. She might feel a bit neglected, she may not, I think everyone is different. But you deserve to be happy as well.
I move out of home and off to college in the new year, and I think mum is starting to look for someone, she's been going out more with friends etc, and talks to me about men that are chasing her, but that she's not interested in at all. If you wish to wait until your daughter leaves, then I think that's also a good decision. Would be less of an impact in her life. But if a man like that walks into your life, I would give it a go. You never know he might just be someone who could be there forever.
Goodluck!
...............................
|
