A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I’m in a awful situation 5 weeks ago I had a one night stand it’s the first time I’ve done anything like this I’m so embarrassed the problem is I’ve got a partner who things aren’t great with he shows me no affection or spends any time with me I was feeling lonely and unwanted at the time this happened I apologised to the man I had a one night stand with and left he just said it was alright after I told him I had a partner now I’m worried I’ll bump into this man and he will tell my partner how do men act after a one night stand if they bump into you I know I should really tell my partner but there are reasons why I can’t any advice greatly appreciated
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2018): Is the guy someone he knows? If it was only a one-night stand, what motivation or benefit would he get out of telling your boyfriend? He might get punched in the face!
Are you afraid your boyfriend will do you bodily-harm? You're in your 30's, mature enough to know when you should exit a bad or loveless relationship.
Your question is a bit sexist. As if all men behave alike. There is no telling what that particular man might do; considering men don't have a single collective-mind, and identical thought-processes. Hindsight is 20/20. Isn't your question what we should think about before doing it?
Let's go by the odds. If he doesn't know your boyfriend and they don't travel in the same circles; the odds are their paths will never cross. If you told the guy you're with someone; he'd most likely be cool about it, and pretend you've never met. I'd be more concerned about witnesses, than the actual guy himself. I really don't recommend telling your boyfriend about it. He would only think that you did it out of spite. It could get nasty.
I'd say it might be a good idea to leave someone before you're pushed to cheat on them. If you're afraid of him, then you need to find a local foundation that offers services and counseling for battered-women; or temporary shelter should you need to escape violence.
If you live together, maybe you should make some arrangements for a girlfriend or family-member to come pick you up; after you breakup with him. Rather than going the extreme route of cheating; and then worrying about him finding out about it.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 September 2018):
 Are you in danger of being harmed? Has your partner shown violence to you? Or your children?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (30 September 2018):
 I think you have bigger problems than worrying about this man telling your partner about your one night stand. I doubt very much that he will tell him ANYTHING, even IF you bump into each other. I am assuming he got sex, which is probably all he was after. Why would he bother stirring up trouble for you?
The more important issue here is, why are you staying in a relationship which is not making you happy? Do you not think you DESERVE to be happy?
Either fix this relationship or end it and move on. Life's too short to stay with someone who makes you feel unloved.
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