A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a white caucasian man living in UK who is very fascinated by an Indian woman who I met recently in a work place. I have never dated an Indian woman before and would very much appreciate any views how to woo this woman that I adore without offending her.She is originally from India so I presume her upbringing is very different to an avearge Indian woman here in UK. We do have an age difference roughly I guess about 10 years.Would really appreciate any views. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Guess2 +, writes (21 June 2009):
Hi
So, what's going on between you and this Indian lady now?
I think that your other helpers forgot to mention one thing about young people raised in India. They are very family and marriage oriented and that's one of the reasons they don't go out with western men as majority doesn't like to settle down ( in their eyes). I am indian and I know that even if I really like an English man, I will not go out with him because this relationship will not have any future. And, future, I don't mean a long term relationship, indians generally want life-long partners so that they can raise their children properly.
so, are you marriage oriented or would atleast consider it if you really like this girl? if not, then, i think you will never get anywhere with this woman ( if you are still interested in her).
Also, my suggestion about approaching her is to go directly to her and ask if she will like to have lunch with you. Even if she says no, you will know for sure because most girls won't openly turn down a guy they have some interest in. May be she is tired that you won't approach her and she doesn't know how to express herself properly!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): I bet I scared him off!Ha Mission Accomplished!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): Hey Poster,
Thanks for the update.I would have been offended if not holding hands and not kissing are considered to be a tease.Since you don't understand and are new to our culture you are forgiven.
I was born and brought up in a lovely picturesque village where
1)We are taught that to even touch our brothers and fathers is bad.You can only imagine what they say about other guys(rolling my eyes)
2)When people fall in love it doesn't mean they have sex.I have known of couples who were in love for 10 years,roamed all over and still had sex on the wedding night.She is my best friend and so she confided in me if you are wondering how I came to know that
3)Most of the marriages are arranged
She gives you butterflies huh...?sounds real romantic.who knows she might end up surprising you by being modern.sex with out love and commitment would get boring in the end.
am surprised....you have spies on her?.seems like you are smitten.Almost sounds like a Ludlum novel.
you can easily find if she is married or not.They wear Sindoor(a red dot in the middle of her forehead where the hairline ends).Most of us have become modern.So nowadays its tough to find anyone wearing it.we wear something in our necks comprising of black beads called MangalSutra.Nowadays its hard to find anyone wearing it either.On our toes we wear a silver ring if we are married.Note:anklets are worn by married and unmarried women.
Am happy to help.....Just in case so you know am on my maternity leave.my answers might not be so regular after 2 months.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): This is me...the original poster,
Thanks both of you Dear Bugs and Psychic Love. Sorry I couldnt reply you earlier...have been really busy....and yes I haven't planned any action mode yet with this young beautiful Indian lady. I don't really know anything about her yet whether she has a boyfriend/husband etc or anything about her family. But you both have given me excellent insight on things...special thanks to bugs for being so helpful on Indian girls. I wonder if they all are the same....no holding hands, no kissing...hmmm..now that is a real tease.
I do really like her from a distance...very vibrant and smiley and gives me butterflies. I cant believe I am actually mentioning this here. Anyway, I will be away for a while, may be when I come back I will have to think of a strategy. In the meantime my spies will be giving me information on her...lets see what do we get...cant wait.
Bugs...perhaps you could be my personal trainer on this one.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): Hey its me Bugs again.Can we have any updates please
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2008): Buddy! I don't think an age gap of 10 years is a big deal.Its really nice of you to know our culture before you woo her.
Now listen very carefully!
There are many regions in India(North,South,East,West).A south Indian girl is the most conservative of all of them.If she is a south Indian your chances of getting her as your girl is really hard.Not that it is not possible.We have a saying in Hindi "Jab tak ladki ho Kunwari na tumhari na meri".Let me translate that for you."As long the girl is not married she is neither yours nor mine".Which ever part of India she is from she is going to be a little conservative.I am going to list a few points that might help you
1)Keep your distance.Touching her unnecessarily is going to make her think of you as a flirt.She might end up running away from you thinking that you are pawing her.
2)Evoke respect in her.Indian girls like men who are brainy and are good in their jobs.I have seen many of my friends go "Wow!He is so good at logic" long before they see a guy's outer appearance.
3)Please don't have long hair,earrings,tattoos(we do feel intimidated by all of these).Look pleasantly formal or casual as the occasion calls.
4)Don't show off.Its very tempting to do that.Be friendly.Help her out when she needs help with out acting too smug about it.I am assuming that she is in a lesser position than you.
5)Start by saying Hi.Smile at her whenever you meet her.If you run into her at canteen,ask her "is this seat taken?".Take the seat and strike up a conversation.
6)I hope you have office messenger.Start by pinging her.Ask her how is her day.Slowly when she starts liking you as a friend ,she reciprocates well,when you are sure that she won't sue you for sexual harassment(am laughing here) tell her you want to take her out to show some place that she's never been to.am sure that there must be lots of such places
7)Let the first date be in a place where there are lots of people around.Make sure you return her to her home early in the evening.No kissing,No holding hands,No brushing against her how ever tempted you are.I understand we are very sexy but no excuses here.If you want to make any inroads at all these points are very important.
8)Make sure you tell her that you had an enjoyable day and would like to do it again sometime soon.Tease her ,flirt with her once she starts liking you.but remember to keep your physical distance at all times.
9)Once you are very sure that she is comfortable with you,begin by asking her "can I hold your hands?".The point here is she should feel safe with you at all times
10)A lot depends on the girl.Find out her value system and ideals.Form your wooing plan based on them.
11)if this helps once a guy from UK had come down to our Indian office all the girls went gaga over his milky white skin and baby blue eyes.All the best.Let us know how it goes!
...............................
A
female
reader, PsychicDove  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 LOL! There are so many kinds of women in India, almost all have a weakness for men who respect them, but there are ultra modern types too.
You could find her birth date, and go here: www.cafeastrology.com and check her sun sign traits and behave with her accordingly. You will get to know about her inner romantic longings.
Oh yea, do not address her as BABE or anything unless you talk to her and find out for yourself if she is too conservative or frank. They usually love men who are brave enough to look into their eyes meaningfully.
LOL, I am not sure if you have the patience to woo an Indian woman, I hope she ain't that sensitive or traditional.
Good Luck dude
~PsychicDove
...............................
|
