A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi. after over a year of dating and talks of marriage, my boyfriend breaks up with me. We had had a huge argument that we never seemed to get over and things fell apart from there.Well, in the first few weeks I tried to win him back but he was firm. Then I backed off and he started contacting me. SLOWLY. Then, he got shipped off overseas for work for a few months. He's been there for 6 weeks. In these weeks, I would email him and rather than write back, he would call. CALL!! We would then talk for 2 or 3 days in a row. Then, he would go quiet for a few days (I can't call him.) So, I would email again and he would call again and the cycle starts over. The talks are casual and light. We laugh and joke. He occassionally says things that make me believe he's interested again.But what do I do now? I always seem to break the 2, 3 day silence although he's extremely responsive and our talks are great. Do I back off again? Do I continue with this course of action until we're on firmer ground?. I'm not sure how to get to the next step.help, please!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): There is no next step, he broke up with you, it's not like he's playing some game or hard to get. He's keeping it light because he probably doesn't want to tell you the hard truth of why he doesn't want to marry you or why he doesn't see you in his future. Why waste your time?
The next step is picturing a new future for yourself and putting your energy into that. Cycles don't get you anywhere at all but a new direction will. The indication you've hit a dead end is when things cycle and cycle but get nowhere.
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