A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had an affair with this guy and have managed to get over him. I haven't told him about this and he's still expecting some intimacy. How do I turn him down without hurting his feelings?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I were you i'd give him a ring and tell him that it's over that what you did it's done or you can wait till he calls you then you tell him.Also do not become his friend, his intentions is pretend that he is but in reality is to get him some more so don't when you end an affair relationships etc is to stop the communications.On a side i would tell your husband about this, trust me the sooner the better.Also if you don't tell him your conscience will take place so i would tell him, just make it the right time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008): Thanks for the advice.
The problem is I'm married.
Is it ok to stop communicating with him without any explanation?
Do you think it is wise to remain friends with him?
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A
female
reader, bfly36  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 My dear same happened to me and i held it out for almost a year. After i left him 4 months later he got married, i was so darn worried about HIS FEELINGS i left mines aside, now he is happily married and my m arriage is torn apart, think about that!!!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Hi ,
if either of you are married then it is a simple case of saying the affair is over. There is no concern about hurt feelings as one of you is already cheating on their partner and risking their relationship.
Call it off, simple as that.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Don't worry about hurt feelings so much. Concentrate on the fact that what you were involved in was wrong and be thankful you've stopped. You really didn't give much information.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (23 April 2008):
 Wish you had said which one of you was married as this makes the difference.
Which ever way it is, it sounds like you will have to tell him bluntly it is over and suffer the consequenses.
If you are the married one then you have to expect some kind of kick back as he will be angry, upset and hurt and may want to tell on you or put emotional pressure on you.
If he is the married one then you will have to put up with the possible persuasion that may come, like telling you that he will leave his wife if only you will hang on another month or so etc etc.
You have made your decision for what ever reason to end this affair and now you must just bite the bullet and make it crystal clear that it is over forever and that you will not change your mind, then you will have to stick to your guns and make it so.
No break up is easy and always someone gets hurt, thats the way of it, they dont call it a broken heart for nothing.
Do it soon and dont look back!!
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