A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have always had a great sex life until the past coupld of months (we have been together almost 11 months). Used to, he would make sure I got what I wanted out of sex first then he'd take what he wanted. He would tell me "Honey, you be selfish and get what you want!" Now, it's progressively become all about him. He'd rather me jack him off than to have sex when I'm ready and willing and very much in the mood. Also when we do have sex (which is rarely now), he doesn't do much foreplay, then he goes at it wildly and when i'm just starting to enjoy it, he's done. One night, he did that, and I'm not exaggerrating here, but about 30 minutes passed of silence, and then he said "i'm sorry i didn't get you off. is there anything i can do?" well by then, i wasn't in the mood any more. it was a little late by then!! i muttered "no" so i laid there with my back to him and silently cried myself to sleep, and like 5 minutes later, he was already snoring. then tonight, we were chatting and only i have a webcam. he asked me to give him a show so i did, and i asked nicely for a video in return sent to my cell phone before i even got started. he never said yes or no...just "if you will pee on me" well he said he "got off" thanked me then said sorry when i asked for the video. there's been times he's wanted me to give him oral then wouldn't give me oral after i asked nicely for it. i want to stop giving until i start receiving again. so how do i tell my selfish boyfriend i want to get something out of it without sounding selfish myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): Seems simple enough: Explain that you haven't been getting what you need. Lay down in clear terms what you need, and stop giving away the freebie handies.
Really, this is something that deserves a conversation between you two. Don't worry about being selfish, meeting your needs is not being selfish.
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