A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i'v been with my partner for many years now he,s always been laid back and i found this cool when i was young. we have had allot of fun and I love him for that but I guess I have grow up an he behaves like a 18 year old he,s 41 and even uses teenage language when we argue I can,t get through to him how lonely I am.We live in different rooms in the house we have no interest in each others lives this has been the way for 6 or 7 years but I was ok because I could get out and do my own thing i didn't realize how bad things were until i was pregnant.I thought by having a child things would change but although he is a good father we have grown even further apart.He uses hash and has done for years but its really taken its toll he has no interest in working or anything that has to do with reality he hangs round a group of same age musicians and jams with them. He never seems to have money only for his gear and own things. The 'band' have come before our time together in the past he even left the country when I was nearly due our child saying it was for a good fee but rang home for money to get home as he had missed his flight and was broke.He never asks me out buys me gifts or shows the least bit of interest until he wants sex. This rarely happens as I feel used and angry with him all the time. He is emotional immature and 'sulky' I,m not allowed to have an opinion or when I want to vent about sumthing he takes it personally he even gets into augments with our toddler!I dont love him anymore how do I tell him? I,v tried to leave him but he falls apart an I go back because he says he,ll change, and he does take an active interest in life and us for a couple of months then goes back to old ways.I live a single life except I cant be seen to like anyone else it,s such a lonely life I want out. I'v felt like this for 5 years now. Our daughter is three years old. Any advice what to do and how.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 April 2010):
It's exactly the same as having a huge spider in the bath. You've left him there for a few days, hoping he would disappear, but he's still there and you need a shower.
You just have to get yourself together and get on with it.
You've been through child birth so just do the thing you know you should have done years ago.
Tell him you are unhappy and he's had his chances and now it's time for him to move out of your house and leave you alone.
When he cries, just stay strong and tell him he's had his chance already. If he says he'll change and all that crap then tell him fine, he can prove it by moving out, getting a job, getting clean and growing up. When he's achieved all that he can give you a call.
Tell him that looking pathetic in front of you makes you want him less and less with every second.
Good Luck!! xx
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