A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:I would love your advice with things please, please take into account im gay and things between gay guys are much more "homosocial" than normal:a) I have a dear friend who gets very touchy feel-y. He does this with everyone, but I feel uncomfortable with his behaviour. On one occasion we made out (for me) as a joke then he tried to straddle me, he isn't good at picking up at vibes, but the next morning he tried to kiss me. He's a uniquely warm and kind person but his boundaries are different from the norm. I feel he is inexperienced cos he has been back to back to long term relationships, he cant distinguish when someone is uncomfortable. His friends and love interests are blurred. I dont know how others feels about his over-affectionate hands (he'll start touching my lower back, ass, putting his hands in my pants) and kissing but I don't like it. How do I politely tell him (concisely and not offensively) without jeopardising friendship. I care about him but he's crossing my comfort zones. This will never be more than a friendship but I do care about him and want to be as respectful as possible.b) I went on a date with a guy and there was no romantic chemistry. I imagine the sex would be great, he was gorgeous and sweet. How do I suggest the idea of sex without leading him on romantically?
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 May 2015):
 If he tries to kiss you, back off and tell him you RESERVE kissing for people you date. If he grabs your ass or crotch, move his hand and tell him you RESERVE ass and crotch grabbing for people you date. And it's OK to tell someone YOU are crossing a line here and it makes me uncomfortable. PERFECTLY OK.
There really isn't a "nicer" way to tell him, just be consistent and tell him no, or no thanks. He will learn.
Some people are very grabby, but IF you are CONSISTENT in letting them know you are OK with them as people, but NOT with the grabbing they will be OK with it too.
Like everything else in life, YOU need to be able to say no to people. To be FIRM with your OWN boundaries or you end up feeling uncomfortable or in a situation you don't really want to be in.
As for you B question. IF the roles were reversed, how would you feel if a guy just wanted to get in your pants but wasn't at all interested in you? Answer that and you have your answer.
|
