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female
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anonymous
writes: I live in South Africa in a small town and has just got involved with a man from another race and i do not know how to break this news to my kids (Divorced mother) and my friends and familyPlease help as i do come out of an very racialistic family and i do not know how to breaks this news to them Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): you come from a racialistic family? you mean a racist family? if your family is racist, you just need to let them know that you are in love with this man, and you are happy and he makes you that way. you are a grown woman and entitled to love whomever you want to..no matter what their skin colour. i say go and be happy with your man!
if it is a problem for your family, sit them down for a talk and let them know what this man means to you in your life. i'm sure that after you have expressed this they will understand more clearly that he is a person just like them, regardless of race. maybe if you are ready you could have him meet your family. i think this would be good so that they can see all the great qualities about him that you see. best of luck in your situation!! :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2005): I live in Northern Ireland and here not so much now but it used to be a real no no to go out with someone from the opposite side of the poilitical divide but I did. For quite some time we dated in secret and then we came clean about the situation and although at the start it was tough when I explained to my family and friends what he meant to me and they saw us together and how happy he made me it didnt seem to matter anymore, and although you will always get someone who thinks its their right to give their 2ps worth on your personal life when your kids and the rest of your family see how good this man is to you (and I hope he is) they wont care if hes black white or multicoloured also it will be teaching your children an important lesson one my own mum was always at pains to instill in us to respect people for what they stand for and not for what they stand in. I hope it all works out for you!!!!
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 Hi dearie, i am so sorry u are going through this.
Well this is my own opinion really but if i really love the man and him men and my family have no other objection except his skin color then i will have to stick with my man and hope they accept him later. You are an adult with children yourself so i think they should be able to respect your decision to marry the guy u desire.
Another thing u could do is get support first from someone in the family u feel arent into this racist views so that when u bring up the issue they can back u up.
I wish u all the best.
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