A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all I think my bf has issues with time management. He's a lovely guy and he tries his best to spend time with me despite his busy schedule. Sometimes when he says he would call at a certain time, he ends up calling an hour later. I wish he could just tell me he was busy instead of making me wait for his call. Just recently, he showed up 2 hours late because he couldn't get off work. I feel so frustrated because punctuality is my pet peeve. And I feel like with all those times he has kept me waiting, I could have done more productive things. How should I voice it out to him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 March 2013):
 I had to add, my aunt (mom's sister) was ALWAYS late to EVERY family function (including one wedding and one funeral, no kidding). For Christmas, Easter and other holidays were we had big family gathering my mom would tell my sister that we would eat at 4.30 (dinner would be at 6 or 6.30) and she would make it on time more often, it almost became a family joke. BUT it worked.
A
female
reader, malvern  +, writes (21 March 2013):
 It's the way he is, just like you are the way you are. It's incredibly annoying to us punctual people. My partner is always late as well. I now make 'time allowances', so if he says a certain time for meeting etc. then I mentally add at least another 45mins to an hour onto it. At least that way we both end up meeting at more or less the same time!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 March 2013):
 I hate being late and I'm insane about letting folks know.
My husband runs late all the time and it drives me nuts.
He may lose track of time. I use an alarm on my phone to remind me to do things... (like leave work for an appointment or send a particular email to someone or call my spouse at a particular time)
If you have never talked to him about it, the first thing you must do is let him know it bugs you.
then you two can problem solve and determine how to meet your needs AND his... this will take compromise.
I doubt he's doing it to be disrespectful.
for me I always carry a book I'm reading with me (kindle is a wonderful thing I have ALL My books with me) and that's productive while waiting. And I'm not bored waiting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013): My boyfriend of 8 months does exactly what yours do, plus he sometimes falls asleep because he's so tired, so doesn't show at all. I'd say that he gets 30+ minutes late 90% of the time.Yesterday he said he'd be at my place by 9pm, as we were going out with friends at 10pm. I waited until 9:30pm, texted him, he didn't answer. So I got my stuff and left. Which was a first! A week ago I'd probably stay home the whole night calling him and waiting. Anyways, I got to the end of the street and I saw him. He apologized, I explained I was leaving, he got a bit upset but I brushed it off. And we went on to our friend's place.Today he asked me to call him at 2pm, because we were meeting for coffee. I called him at exactly 2pm. No answer. Tried again at 2:30pm. He didn't answer, I stopped calling and stayed at home studying.Basically, give him the cold shoulder.Say you'll wait for him ONLY 30 minutes. If he's late by 15 minutes, text him if he's still showing up. If after 30 minutes he doesn't show nor call nor text, go on with your day.Of course, if you're with friends and he's supposed to meet the group, you don't need to leave, just stay with them but don't call him more. If you're alone or feel like going, just leave or text him "waited for you for 30minutes. I'm leaving" or something. Don't need to be aggressive, just to let him know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2013): We have to take time out for the important people in our lives. I too am a punctual person and often have to deal with folks who wear watches for decorative jewelry.It's easy to use work as an excuse, because it's hard to argue with that. You have no choice. Put up or shut up.When there is a frequency of tardiness; it's usually because people don't know how to prioritize their time. He may also consider you low on his list, because he knows you'll be there waiting when he gets around to it. You have to make it clear to him, in a very firm way, that he should call ahead if he is going to be late. Allow him 15-20 minutes, then cancel or leave. Stop waiting, that's what he expects you to do. So why bother being on time?People are only repeat offenders when there are no consequences. When being late is a chronic condition, there is no excuse. Two hours late for a date means he feels there was something more important than you, and you don't require any notice. It's rude and inconsiderate. You were foolish for waiting.Don't stand for it any longer. Straight out tell him you will not accept it any more and you'll simply cancel plans to do something else. If you're important to him, he'll be on time.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (21 March 2013):
Just sit down with your boyfriend and tell him how frustrated you are with his LACK of punctuality and ask him to send you text if he cant meet you at a certain time that was arranged.Leave him in no doubt how you feel on this level.Hopefully things will improve.Best Luck Nora B.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 March 2013):
I would just tell him;" this is important to me. IF you KNOW you are going to be late meeting me, PLEASE call so I can get stuff done."
It may take him a little while to "get" it but I think telling him what you NEED/WANT from him helps a lot more then being mad over stuff you have no control over.
If he says, I'll call you around 3pm - that means (in some guys talk) any time AFTER 3pm. So maybe he doesn't think calling you are 4pm is bad. Know what I mean?
Also, if he says I'll be over at 4pm and but 4:45pm he isn't there - have you given him a call?
I personally, HATE being late. I don't like other around me being late either, but I have come to realize that you can't live your life around other people's schedule.
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