A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys just have a short and simple question for everyone here... i just want a different opinion and hopefully it will help me sort things out in my head... I have been with this guy for around 7 months and yesterday his family came round for a family dinner.. things are moving very fast between us and that is fine... we both want to eventually get married to each other however i feel they are moving too quickly for me and i dont want to offend him by telling him this. I feel he is always at my house/ around my family and always around me 24 hours... I just need a break from him sometimes and i like doing my own things... though my parents and family love him to pieces i just feel its all a bit too much... for example now I am upstairs while he is downstairs talking to my family... i just made an excuse and said i have a headache and want to go sleep... He doesnt take the hint and i dont want to hurt his feelings... i do really love him but i like my own space and time too.... how can i let him into how i feel without hurting him... ?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 December 2013):
 Any statement that does not consists of 'I love you so much I cant bear to be separated from you for even a moment' will hurt him so you might as well be honest.
There is nothing cruel about being truthful here and you'll be doing both of you a favour in the long run. You'll have the space you need and he'll learn to behave in a way that doesn't push others away. Dealing with this in a direct and timely fashion will also strengthen your own faith in yourself so you don't have to rely on others to do the right thing.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (24 December 2013):
 Hi there.
I COMPLETELY understand where you’re coming from. I’m like you. I need space to myself sometimes. And as much as I can love someone to death, sometimes I just need a night to myself to unwind, relax and be alone. It’s rejuvenating and necessary for me. It’s nothing personal to the person I’m with. It’s just something I require. Most of those I’ve been with have understood this.
I wouldn’t think it’d be that big of a deal for him if you simply just communicated to him how much you love him, but just want to take one or two nights a week for yourselves. That it doesn’t mean there’s a problem at all; rather, you love him so much, that you want to make sure you do everything you can to nurture your relationship and make it last. And this is just one of those things you require for a lasting love relationship. Certainly he will understand. Maybe he’s even feeling the same way? Perhaps he’s just doing what he thinks YOU want. Never know.
Thing is, if you keep this up, you’re going to get extremely burned out. You’re going to become resentful in a short span of time, and then you will become bitter and your relationship will dwindle down to nothing and you will be on this site asking for advice on how to nicely break things off. So definitely don’t keep quiet and hold this in. You need to communicate the issue.
Oh, and as a side note, count your blessings that your family loves him! I’m gay and every family member I’ve ever met in my whole life has wound up hating my guts, no matter how hard I try, how wonderfully I treat their daughter, or how much I have going for me in life, simply because I am a girl and don’t have the apparent appropriate appendage. Lol. I would kill for that kind of relationship between my family and my partner. So you’re very lucky! Sounds like you have a great relationship. :)
Good luck, friend.
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A
female
reader, jenlewis +, writes (24 December 2013):
You can make him calmly understand that you need some space in some things.
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