A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and now I've found out I'm pregnant. I'm only 20 and this was not planned at all. We've talked about marriage in the future and having children eventually but we didn't want it to happen now. We don't live together yet. I live with my parents but don't get on with them and he lives on his own.I want to keep my baby, there's no other option for me and I know he would want to keep it too.I want to know how I should tell him about this. I think he's going to be devastated to start with because this is not what either of us wanted right now. I want to tell him in the right way but I have no idea how.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 October 2014):
 First thing, you need to tell him right away if nothing else out of fairness. This baby is growing inside your belly, yet it's a joint " property "- it's half his, and he has the right to know about it asap. If you delay the news in the misguided attempt of sparing him worries or shock etc., you are infringing on his rights and also treating him like a child. If you could handle the news without going balistic, so can he .
Second, lame answer but... you'll just come out and say it, I guess. It's only half bad, or less, than what you think. You already have very clear ideas about what you want to do ( keep the baby ), no matter how he takes it- and, after an initial " cold shower " moment, you say you KNOW he would want to keep it too.
Good. That's half of the work done . You don't have to decide between agonizing choices, you both already know what's going to happen. Now, all you have to work out it's practical details, like if you are going to live with him, etc.
I know this is a big deal, but, don't make it even bigger than it is. Your bf is not a child, so he MUST have known that when one decides to have sex there may be surprises and accidents along the road. ( Particularly if one has not been MORE than scrupolous in preventing those- like using both the pill AND condoms ). You both took a calculated risk, because you decided it was worth it. So, really, I would not indulge either him nor myself with the
" Omygod ! Omygod ! I can't believe it ! " part.
Believe it, cut to the chase, start making viable plans about the best possible way to feed , shelter and care for this baby, .. and get ready to ENJOY too an unplanned yet joyous, rewarding experience.
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