A
female
age
30-35,
*ilentrose333
writes:Hey all,i have a huge problem: I've had a boyfriend for almost a year now. When we began to go out, he was really smart, funny, kind and fun to be around. That has since changed. He's starting to hang out with the wrong people, and i'm paying for it. he's gotten into drinking, doing drugs, and smoking. Plus, i've caught him watching porn with his friends sometimes. It seems like all he wants from me now is sex and hardcore love; something im not ready for. I really love him, but i dont want to be around him very much. How can I tell my boyfriend that I don't like how he's changed without hurting him?
View related questions:
drugs, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 You need to tell your feelings to him directly and hope that he will listen and change. Let him know your limits and boundaries.
He is going to get hurt no matter how you sugar coat those words.
Sometimes , words are useless because they don't really want to change or listen to you .
You only alternative to effect any change from him is by leaving him if all else fails.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (30 April 2010):
 You guys are young and this is the age where he will experiment with drugs and alcohol, and it might be the perfect time for an intervention before he gets too hook.
There are church groups that offer counseling to teenagers, there boys homes that offer guidance to boys with drug problems. You should also go to the counselor at school, and also let his parents now what it going on. He should get help because that is an ugly pathetic life to live.
Now to you, if you offer the help and he is unwilling to corporate or make a change than you need to think on you. You can not make a person change unless they themselves want a to change. If he chooses the life of drugs and alcohol you are going to have to split. At that point there is not much you can do but to think on yourself and your future. One more thing please do not try any drugs if he offers you any please say no.
...............................
A
male
reader, charlie p  +, writes (30 April 2010):
Without hurting him? If I'm honest that's not where youre priority should be. It sounds like he's being an idiot with his life at the moment, it's not the end of the world, all teenage guys go through a phases like that, but the thing is I think he's taking you for granted. That's not to say he doesn't love you etc, just that he's gotten used to having you around so he just assumes you won't be too concerned.
Sooooo, in conclusion tell him, in plain up front crystal clear english, exactly what you think of what he's been getting up to.
Good Luck xx
Ps, two closing remarks;
Firstly, timing is everything, don't do it publicly or in front of people, just do it in your/his room.
Secondly, compromise is the key to relationships, so it may be you two agree that he can carry on doing this sort of thing but to a lesser extent or to keep it so it doesn't affect you or something similar.
...............................
|
