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female
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anonymous
writes: OK i have a problem. I have been with my boyfriend who is 32 and I am 20 for almost 10 months now. He is a great guy who i truly care about and he has done nothing wrong and has only been truly good to me. He is such a nice guy but I just dont feel it anymore. I dont see myself marrying this guy and I can't make myself feel something that i dont feel, even though he hasnt done anything at all wrong. How to i break him the news? I dont want to hurt him but I know that no matter what I do or say I will hurt him. I just want him to find the person he is suppose to marry and if i keep this dragging on when i dont feel it, I feel like im wasting his time and my time to find "the one" Please help. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2006): I'm sure you know that there is no easy way to break up. I would just remember that it will hurt him more if you stay in the relationship though your feelings are gone, than if you just tell him straight in your own words that you need to end the relationship.
A
male
reader, Ryder  +, writes (10 May 2006):
 Hello,
Well things seem to be going well there are no fights which indicates the two of you are good people who are compatible.
Many couples get married and they never had fell in love and live their lives like 2 friends who have children but really have no deep feelings for each other they raise a good home and a good family, but this can cause problems because one of the couple can start cheating or so.
I think its good that you are actualy making this decision before things get too deep, like getting married without having feelings for him would just make you go mad.
You mentioned he is a nice guy and very kind and since the two of you probably don't fight much means you understand each other, im sure if you just went up to him and told him that you don't have feelings for him anymore there aren't any sparks like before he will probably understand.
And yes there is no way of telling him this without causing him any pain but make sure you tell it to him with honesty and kindess with a soft voice this will make him at least feel that he did nothing wrong.
There really is no other solution than just telling him and sucking up that pain that might come up.
Good luck and you have my best wishes, Ryder.
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