A
female
age
51-59,
*elly_2008
writes:I am recently divorced since 11-08, but my ex stayed with me until the end of january 09. I have recently met a wonderful man who we are getting serious and talking of marriage later. My daughter, 16, is fine with this, but my son found out, he's 13, and he already is trying to move in with his dad, which happened before he found out, but hates the idea i have a boyfriend, and is being brainwashed by my ex on everything you can imagine. I don't get to see him a lot but when we do I spend quality time with him. I'm just torn and dont know what to do. I love spending time with my fiance now, but I'm not sure what to do. I usually go out fridays and saturday nites with my fiance, my son sometimes stays with my parents that live next door to me on those nights. I feel guilty that I am going, should I? I feel like I am not able to have my own personal life and that I should just stay home, I'm so upset and confused now I'm not sure what to do. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): You have to put your son's well-being above your own love life. You are only recently divorced. Why are you rushing back into marriage so soon? Your boy had his father living with you in your family home up until just a few mths ago. Now you expect him to accept this stranger into the home he was born into. This is not fair on him. At this point in time, with the divorce still fresh and your son only entering adolescence, it is not right to be getting so involved with this new man in such a profound way. If your fiance loves you as much as you think, then he should be content to wait for you until your son has adjusted to the changed circumstances - as hopefully he will over the course of time.
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