A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:K my question is how can i talk about what happened with my two brothers with out causing too much conflict? But a bit of background will also help so here goes, L and D both got engaged L to R and D to A, well they both have kids now but weddings didnt go through, now L is paying off a mortgage whilst not even living in that house R and the new bf are, D's ex A is stopping him from seeing his son for no apparent reason, but L and A had a fling or one nighter. And D found out, just gave L a warning. But i recently found out D smashed L for some reason i dont know yet, and because im so close to L i want to know but how do i ask L, i cant believe this is happening between them. L wont talk to his mum or our dad or no one. Help please what can i do i have been up all night thinking of this sorry its long
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 February 2009):
Well there are several problems here, I'll try and work through them all.
1. Mortgage: He had a child with her so he needs to pay something. Is the house in his name? If so then they are just living rent free. Get L to get something sorted, where they pay rent and he pays child maintenance, she buys her out of her half and they sell up and call it quits. Something. They need to get together and discuss the money situation with a neutral 3rd party and draws up a contract.
2. Denial of child access. Take her to court, D has a right to access to his son, they need to work out maintenance and visitation.
3. Sleeping with your brother's girl. That's pretty low. I think the reason L is cutting himself away from the family is because he knows he is in the wrong. Talk to him and just say that you are there for him and that you are on his side if he needs you. That is all you can do. I don't think you can forgive a brother for sleeping with the woman who was going to be your wife. That is going to take a lot of time so you can't push it. L will talk about it all if he needs to.
Good Luck!! xx
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