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How do I survive this nightmare of bitchiness at work

Tagged as: Big Questions, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a problem with the people I work with and I'm thinking of leaving as it's getting to me a bit.

I work in a small local business and there are only a few of us. We all have to put rotas in the system every day for gas and plumbing engineers we pass calls to. Well sometimes mistakes can be made such as one wrong digit on a phone number or the wrong engineer in the wrong area. I know I have made a few tiny mistakes over the years but everybody does.

There are two older women who have worked there a very long time and I constantly see that they have made mistakes but I'm not the kind of person to go to my boss and rat on them. It's easily rectified and I don't get irritated by it as there's no harm really done.

But I've been told by the new girl that these women keep talking about me saying I don't do anything right and make too many mistakes. The new girl saw that there was a mistake one day and the older women blamed me and got really annoyed.

I came in later and looked at what she was on about and found that it wasn't actually me but one of them as I wasn't in the day that rota was changed.

I worked Christmas Eve, Christmas day and boxing day this year and I only got paid £295 for the week and it's really getting to me as I get paid so little money and people are extremely bitchy who work there.

I don't want to start being the same as them by going off to my boss pointing out everything that they do wrong. Sometimes other people run late taking over from my shift, I've stayed behind an hour extra a few times because they are late. I was running late once and the woman I was taking over from posted it all over Facebook going on about it.

I don't think I'm just the kind of person that nobody gets on with as the new girl and other people there have said they really like me and when I say I want to leave they beg me not to as they would miss me.

I don't know how to handle these women and I don't want to change the way that I am just to get one up on them. Although the wages are terrible I still need a job.

I work days, nights and afternoons and we don't even get paid anything extra for a night shift. I am looking for another job but for now I have to stick this out.

They made one woman feel so bad about herself she ended up quitting just before Christmas and we all had to do extra hours. These two just said good riddance and because they wanted the extra shifts and money they seemed to be happy we all had to work extra hours.

How do I deal with them without being like them!! I'd never want to end up like them but they are completely stressing me out.

View related questions: at work, christmas, facebook, I work with, money, my boss

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015):

Hi! Thanks for the responses :) I was feeling so down about this when I wrote the question it was bugging me all day.

I think you are right that I should be a little wary of the new girl as I don't actually know her that well. But I think I'm a good judge of character and when she was telling me what they said she looked stressed about it wondering if she was regretting taking the job as she doesn't like working with them either.

My boss never tells me off for the mistakes that are made so maybe I shouldn't worry so much about it, I hate having a job where I feel uncomfortable around people and I don't get why they are like it.

A girl who used to work there wished me a happy new year and asked how work was and she told me that they were the same to her. She advised me to maybe take photos on my phone of the rotas I compete every day so that if something does get blamed on me I can show them what I've done.

So maybe I should just chill out, I'm not worried so much that I will get fired or in trouble with my boss, I just hate being made to feel stupid. I spoke to my dad and he asked me if I liked everybody I've ever met, I said no, and he said well not everybody is going to like you. Harsh but true!

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A female reader, Keeley345 United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2015):

Like you say, you need this job. And why let them push you out of a job? They sounds very b*tchy! You sound like a reasonable lady who is sensitive to others feelings. Good on you! But no one should make you unhappy!

For now I'd suggest you keep an eye on your work, mistakes and all. Keep a diary/evidence of your work so if they decide to go and tell tales about your work, you can prove them wrong. Also keep a record e.g dates and times of when they are nasty to you. These women sound like they could make serious trouble for you and you need to cover your back. By keeping evidence you have something to protect you.

If it gets bad and it sounds as if you're fed up of them, there's no harm in asking for help and letting whoever's in charge know. You have rights hun. I know of people who were bullied at work and took their employers to court. And NO!!! You will not be stooping to their level by standing up for yourself. You're clearly better than them!

Is there anyone else at work that you trust, maybe someone senior who you can ask for help from? It may help to confront these women with someone else present and make it clear you won't be treated badly. I used to work for a large company who used to take on temps/agency staff during x.mas and that.

One temp girl I worked with (I was permanent staff) was really nice but my other permanent colleagues used to treat her like their skivvy. She liked her job so was afraid to say anything in case she got sacked. She came to me in tears one day and as I was senior staff, I talked to these colleagues with her there and told them to treat her better or else I would report them. This temp girl also knew that if anyone tried to sack her over this, I would defend her as I knew she had done nothing wrong.

So I sympathise with you. But don't let them make you unhappy. Look on the Citizens advice website and DWP.gov websites for help with workplace issues. I have before and found good advice. But let us know how you get on and we're always happy to help where we can.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (31 December 2015):

Honeypie agony auntKeep taking the high road.

As for the new girl, I'd suggest you don't get into any gossip with her, she might be nice, but you don't know how much of what you say will be passed on.

Keep looking for a new job, but until then - DO your job the best you can, don't be late, be polite and courteous - there really isn't much else you can do.

If those older women chooses to be "bitchy" there is nothing you can do. That is who they are.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2015):

Seriously. Break your ass to get a new job. These women are small-minded and petty. You are too good for the place. Good luck with finding a new job.x

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A female reader, Songwr1ter United Kingdom +, writes (30 December 2015):

You need to complain to your boss.. I know you don't want to, but it's the best thing to do. These women are being very immature, and it's not fair on you, or the other workers. Why don't you all go and complain about these women? That way your boss will do something about it, if there's more than one person affected. Otherwise, just try to ignore it, and look forward to a new job.

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