A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:well, where do i start? it all started in seventh grade. i fell in love. with my gym teacher. he's 26, and i am 13. he hates me, but i love him. he doesnt make eye contact with me, and i have a poster of him in my closet. i'm so deeply passionately in love with this man. he is married, his wife may possibly be pregnant. i am obsessive over him, and some people do not want to be around me because of it. i love him so much, and i cant stop it. i thought i would be good once he wasnt my teacher, but it got worse. kind of. he's like 6 foot2, tan, beautiful smile, brown hair, brown eyes, long eye lashes. so what do i do? how do i stop liking him? i can't ever find another guy as good as him. even though he is a major jerk, i will never forget or get over him. i believe he is my soulmate. i need help. i'm adic, i'm addicted to him. what shoud i do? should i tell him my true feelings? or should i forget about him. and be lonely? i slit for him
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): I think you need to go see a counselor. These things you are doing are creating an over obsession over a man that does not have the same feelings for you. You also mentioned that you slit yourself. Please, tell your parents or guardian about what you have been doing to yourself. That will make your obsession even worse.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): However did you get a poster of him? The idea of having 'a poster of him in your closet' is so interesting, it could be seen as an analogy - that you love him but you do not want anyone to know about it! Except they do!
I'm sorry to say this is definitely an infatuation. You don't say that he is funny and caring and easy to talk to; instead you describe his appearance, which suggests that you are physically attracted to him, nothing more. I don't think you are in love with him. However, you do seem very upset about all this.
Forgetting this man will not make you feel any more lonely because from what you have written he doesn't seem to be fulfilling your emotional needs. A lot of the problem is that you are feeling isolated and lost, so I would suggest you talk to your family (or anybody you feel close to) about how you are feeling, or phone Childline on 0800 1111. Try meeting new people. I think part of the reason you feel this way is because you have lost so many friends as a result of your obsession with this man.
If he doesn't make eye contact then he is clearly concerned about your behaviour. I definitely wouldn't advise telling him your true feelings.
I hope you are happier soon, and please do stop self harming. Once this is all over you will see that it isn't the answer to anything.
I know you can't see it at the moment because that is the nature of any addiction, but it will get better, trust me.
x
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A
male
reader, queernessmeansbi +, writes (6 September 2008):
It's good for you to have experience with this now rather than later in your life, give the people around you a second chance, flock to people who are interested in what you're interested in, your love will him will go, it's not love, it's confusion and attraction, some people seem to know what love is earlier, some never figure it out. Life can be confusing, but you caqn't let yourself dig yourself into a rut. When you think of him don't fight it, imagine what life would be like if something actually did happen, he's a jerk, he'd hurt you if he actually was interested in you, that's the sad thing...please. I don't have a problem with you liking him, like I said before, it's better to learn to deal with envy and love than avoid it.Good luck, the soulmate term isn't a fatemate.
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A
female
reader, PinkCrush +, writes (6 September 2008):
 Well, obviously this is a very common subject on here. But beside that point...Obviously it's not good to have a huge crush or fall in love with your teacher because it only hurts you in the end. You become so attached to the idea of them and you know it will never happen so it only hurts you. I've been "obsessed" with a teacher before so i know how you're feeling but I never had a poster of him in my closet. But I know what it feels like to think you love your teacher. As anyone will tell you, you don't really love him, it's just infatuation. DON'T tell him your true feelings because that could only mess up the situation a lot more. It's better to just secretly admire him from a far and just let itself slip away. It might seem hard to do right now, but it's the best advice I can give. But I feel what your saying...
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