A
female
age
30-35,
*oGreen126
writes:Dear Aunties,I have yet another question: my bf and I have been together 10 months of the past year and a half, on and off. Since we last got back together it's been more than 4 months--a record for us (I'm afraid of long-term relationships, I guess, and for high school, that's a pretty normal length of time).Anyway, we both want to go further physically, but it's against my moral/religious code. Even if I were to break that, I'd feel immensely guilty. We already push the limits of my rules.We have deep and sincere feelings for each other (the breakups were because I was scared of falling for him so much, as I did with my ex and it went disastrously--but I'm finally at the point that I'm over him) and I'd even say I love him, but I don't want to have to defend my feelings here because I'm only 16.In the progression of a relationship, naturally things go further, but ours can't until we are married, and let's face it, that's unlikely--it is a high school relationship after all and I want to go into medicine.I tell you this very long story (sorry!) because I want to not cross the line, and I need help in doing that tactfully. My bf is very careful and respectful of my rules, which I greatly appreciate, but I fear that one of these days it won't be enough. How do I stop the desire to go further--or at least tame it?Thanks so much!--GG
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female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 Hi there.
This is a very tricky situation as when you fall for someone, you'll naturally want to be physically intimate with them.
If you are sure of your religious and moral boundaries then you do not have to cross them. Make it very clear to your boyfriend what those are.
You can be intimate without having full intercourse. This depends on your beliefs but you can be intimate in other ways which will reduce the desire and temptation to have sex before marridge.
It is entirely up to you what you choose to do with your body and your life. If you love this guy and want to be with him, you can have a fulfilling reltionship without sex, just dont allow him to push your boundaries. If he does, take a step back from the relationship and he will get the message. You are only 16 and don't have to be thinking about marriage just yet. Just enjoy each other's company, have fun and try not to get to serious about it.
Good luck :)
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